Once We Were Warriors Vs. The Loved Ones

Sometimes life is not what we wish it to be. There are opportunities that get missed, relationships that end, and mistakes that are made sometimes again and again and again. We don’t always get what we want; thank you Rolling Stones, and sometimes we just might find we don’t even get what we need. The thing is we GET. We get new opportunities. I try really hard to look at every day as a new opportunity to get it right. I’m going to wake up, put my shorts on one leg at a time, and go forth in the world to be a bit better than I was yesterday. It is a personal mission statement, a mantra if you will.

I think we all need these things. When times are their bleakest, when our backs are against the wall, we feel as if we have nothing left to lose, or any other cliché you choose we have to have something to mentally hang our hat on. I point to those things when I’m struggling. I fall back on these things when life is kicking me in the teeth so that I don’t lose track of what truly is best in life. Here’s a hint it ISN’T the ‘lamentations of the women’. The fact is the only truism of life is that it will change.

The things we take for granted, the status quo of our everyday existence, and even the very air we breathe will change. Life is transitory by its very definition. It is natural. That is the thing we also have to remember; Nature does NOT care. It's like the Honey Badger.  It don't give a shit.  The bad things that happen to us; the disappointments, the loss, the break ups, the deaths, etc. they are not the acts or whims of some mad deity. They can simply be distilled down into nature taking its shitty course.

In order to deal with this we have to be like water. Bruce Lee was right. We have to be like water. Water can be hard like steel, when ice, to withstand the brutalities of life. It can be mercurial, when steam, and impossible to hold or even define in order to allow us to escape. More than anything though when in its normal form it is adaptable, when you put water in a container it conforms to that container. However it retains its ability to become both ice and steam. Water is infinitely adaptable. That is what we have to be as human beings. We have to adapt, to adapt we have to change just as the world does around us.

For better or worse nothing stays the same. Nothing stays in that perfect moment of amber. It instead becomes a whisper, or a memory. You can’t hold it suspended animation like an insect trapped in amber. We live, we lose, we love, we cry, we laugh, & we die. It just is. So tonight when you watch that clock strike midnight and you think about what happened in the last year who you met, who you lost, who you loved, who you hated, etc. remember that it will all change. You will never be this ‘You’ again. Nothing and no one is forever, not even the ‘cold November rain’, thank you Axel and have another donut. Tomorrow the sun will rise, F’ you Mayans, and you’ll start it all over again putting those shorts on one leg at a time. It’s up to you to decide what you do after that.

Whew, well I thought about RANDOM CRAPing it up, but you know what I think this stands perfectly on its own. I hope to those out there that read this drivel that I know, and even those that I don’t, that you take the opportunities afforded to you in the upcoming year to ‘Be’. Don’t settle, don’t miss a chance, and ‘don’t run from it’. Go forth and conqueror.

“Trapped inside a box
Four long years
Hiding from the world
Punished by your peers

Studied teachers words
Staff appointed hearts
Earned a piece of paper
No go forth and start

Go forth, be conquered, go forth and die
Go forth, be conquered, go forth and die

Go forth Be conquered
Go Forth and Die

Now you've graduated
Mind is mutilated
Thrust into the world
Feeling segregated
Move in with your parents
Back into the dark
Landed where you started
Bachelor of Arts

The learning starts now...
Open up your textbooks and turn to the
Chapter concerning your DETH

Night sky
Bleeds red
Black birds
Bring DETH

You'll be eaten by the blackness
Of your rotting mind that's dying
You're consumed with sharpened wings
That penetrate your frightened lying

Go die
Go die
Go die go!

Now you're sad and frightened
Want to go and hide
Maybe get your masters
Eight more years inside
Dream of your own murder
Strangled by the IVY
Drown in student loans
Better off just dying

Go Die
Go Die

You'll be eaten by the blackness
Of your rotting mind that's dying
You're consumed with sharpened wings
That penetrate your frightened lying

Go Forth Be conquered
Go forth and die
Go forth be conquered
Go forth and die
Go forth and die
Go forth and die
Go forth and die
Go forth and die”

* = Yes Jake, yes we should...

Careers In Evil Podcast #14 - The Year In EVIL!

The Czar & El Iron Fisto take a jaunt down memory lane and give you the Best and the Worst of the last year, talk some Christmas swag, avoid 'Man Therapy' time, and contemplate THE FUTURE! Listen or don't...  Careers In Evil Podcast #14 - The Year In EVIL!

 

Kiss Of The Spider Woman Vs. Safety Not Guaranteed

There is nothing like working somewhere that has ONE stall for the men. ONE STALL! Granted it’s an office filled with people with ‘lady parts’, but c’mon! So if you miss your window of opportunity to use the stall you are STUCK waiting OR walking down the way to a gas station. It is literally a ‘Crap Shoot’. This is especially true when your guts have betrayed you. I’m not sure what’s going on, but for the last few weeks my stomach has been a bullet train. Hell, even at Christmas I felt bad. That’s not to say that Christmas was bad, far from it, but my body was struggling with the flu. So here I sit waiting for ‘my turn’ in the coveted bathroom and blogging. Life doesn’t get any ‘better’ than this...

Christmas was rockin’ this year. I was able to give my wife a ton of stuff that she seems to enjoy, for the most part I did pretty good getting gifts for others, and I received a lot of things I really wanted. Between the piles of books I received, the games, and then the really fun Hulk shirt I got it was just about a perfect accumulation of swag. Vibe wise it’s been weird. My conversation with my family was short and sweet, Cassandra and I have been up to our gills in things so this time of year has been a strain, and the trip to ‘The Cloud’ was just ok. It could be because I felt terrible, but for some reason I literally just wanted this Holiday season to end. One more week left and we can get back to some sense of normalcy.

I have been on a reading TEAR lately, here’s what I was able to plow through;

- Tim Lebbon’s 'Hellboy, The Fire Wolves' (*** ½ out of 5) –

Crazy that the two Hellboy novels I just read both had to do with wolves. I found this one to be much more enjoyable than the last, possibly because Hellboy was the main character this time. The premise was remarkably simple, and yet had enough of a slight twist involved that it not only felt like a Hellboy story, but it also vastly added to the tension and enjoyment of the tale. The story itself is simple. Hellboy travels to Italy to help a woman who believes she is going to be murdered before she turns 18 due to a family curse. Now I don’t want to spoil it for you, but this book wracks up an impressive and somewhat graphic body count. Death isn’t that unusual in a ‘horror’ story, but in a Hellboy tale it certainly adds some gravity to the situation. I will admit, even though he takes a beatin’ a few times, I never felt the main protagonist was in mortal danger, however the main secondary characters dropped like flies! I dug the whole idea of the main antagonists, how it tied directly to the history of the area, and setting was beautifully crafted by the author. My only real complaints were that the book drug in some spots and the ‘sexual tension’ really just seemed to meander rather than smolder. I really dug the antagonists and might even ‘borrow’ the overall idea for D&D, and of course Hellboy is just fun to read about. It’s a good not great read, but if you are like me and can’t get enough of Mignola’s titular creation then you can do FAR worse than give this one a read.

- Richard Lee Byers 'Called To Darkness' (****out of 5) –

My subscription to the Pathfinder Tales novels is some of the best money I spend. As of yet I have not been disappointed by a single novel I’ve received, and in some cases (like anything by Dave Gross) I’ve been blown away. Mr. Byers tale isn’t quiet up there with Mr. Gross, but I’ll be damned if he didn’t craft a damn fine, and FUN tale here. The premise is simple Kagur is a warrior in the Blacklion’s tribe, her adopted brother is a frost giant in the land of the ‘Mammoth Lords’. The setting is something of a ‘hodge podge’ of edge of the world and nomadic Vikings, which I dig. Anywho, Kagur’s brother goes ‘Native’ and wipes out her tribe in a VERY bloody show of loyalty to ‘The Rough God’ who has secretly been paying homage to. Kagur ends up watching her friends and family die and finds herself on the wrong end of her ‘Brother’s’ knife before all things are said and done. All this is in like the first 30 pages! This sets up a chase across the Tundra to the ‘Earthnavel’ and into the Underdark, or Pathfinder’s equivalent. The final portion of this almost Shakespearean tragedy comes to head in the bowels of the planet in a ‘Lost World’ valley. So let’s get this straight shall we; Vikings, CHECK, Murderous Frost Giant, CHECK, Lovecraftian Lost Society, CHECK, Underground Ziggurat, CHECK, DINOSAURS (!), CHECK! There is a distinct pulp vibe permeating this book and I felt like Mr. Byers captured the feel of Edgar Rice Burroughs in the Pathfinder setting perfectly. At its heart this is very similar to 'Blood Of The City', in the fact it is a straight forward ‘Revenge Tale’. However, where that is an urban, almost Tarantino-esque romp, this one is firmly ‘Old School’ with what I felt were some subtle nods to the old Saturday morning serials. If I had to complain at all about the book it would be that reason for the betrayal is SO out of the blue that sometimes Kagur’s brother feels less like a character and more like a walking talking plot device. Kagur becomes so consumed, and I think I understand why Mr. Byers wrote her this way, by her vengeance that she is somewhat unlikable throughout a lot of the book as a man character; however this is more than made up for by her blind traveling companion whose name is escaping me at the moment. This character was once an adventurer himself who traveled the world of Golarion seeking fortune and glory. He was such an interesting, introspective, and warm character I found myself hoping that at some point Mr. Byers goes back and gives us one of those tales. Overall I dug this book a lot, and it is another example of the quality of fiction Paizo continues to put out in support of its version of the world’s greatest game.

- Clive Barker’s 'The Inhuman Condition' (**** ½ out of 5) –

Let’s get something straight; Clive Barker does not write bad tales. He just doesn’t. I have never read anything the Mr. Barker has written where I wasn’t awed by its splendor and didn’t leave it without a tingle in the base of my spine. The Inhuman Condition is NO exception. Here Mr. Barker gives us 5 tales that push the boundaries of what horror can be. While ‘Down, Satan!’, ‘Revelations’, and the title story ‘The Inhuman Condition’ are VERY good I’m going to spend a bit of time with the other two tales. ‘The Age Of Desire’ is like reading a David Cronenberg movie, through a very aggressive and disturbed lens of a Danny Boyle. The idea of a working aphrodisiac that drives people to insanity is terrifying, the graphic depictions of the sexual violence are difficult to get through, but it’s the alteration of humanity and the understanding of what one is becoming is what makes it truly frightening. Barker has a really disturbing way of making the reader uncomfortable within the confines of things we should be ok or even enjoy like love, sex, and even our own body. This brings me to the other tale that really stood out to me, ‘The Body Politic’. On the surface the idea of the hands of the world becoming sentient and plotting a bloody coup sounds sort of ridiculous. However the way Barker describes the subtle beginnings, and the ever bloodier uprising makes it surprisingly effective, if not disturbingly fun. The idea of our body turning on us piece by bloody piece is truly frightening. The ‘twist’ at the end gives you the distinct impression that this is a tale that is just beginning and its logical conclusion is left to the reader to tell in the confines of their own mind. There is a beauty in what Barker chooses to NOT ‘show’, as wonderfully graphic as he can be it is what he lets us imagine in the interim that makes his tales something beyond mere horror. Even if this genre isn’t your cup of tea, I can’t recommend the works of Clive Barker enough.

Saturday morning I did a bit of DVR clearing and watched Spirits Of The Dead (*** out of 5).

This late 60’s flick is a trilogy of Edgar Allen Poe by way of France & Italy by three different directors. Let me begin by saying Jane Fonda and Bridgette Bardot were both truly stunning in their respective parts, and I’m not talking the acting. WOW, were those ladies ‘smoke shows’! The first tale was ‘Metzengerstein’ by Roger Vadim starring Jane Fonda. The tale revolves around a noble known for her varied debaucheries who becomes obsessed with her estranged cousin, creepily played by Peter Fonda. There is a lot of things eluded to in this segment, and it is damn near exploitation in nature which surprised me a bit, but it just made Jane Fonda’s Countess Metzengerstein’s journey that more interesting. The crux of the tale revolves around her mental de-compensation and yet emotional growth after ‘accidentally’ having the object of her affect and obsession killed. It’s a strange tale of unrequited love possibly bringing someone piece of mind through a horrible death, it’s all VERY Poe, and I think Vadim really captures that vibe while giving it to us in an almost Hammer style. The second tale is ‘William Wilson’ by Louis Malle. This one has a scene with Bridgette Bardot that is unabashedly exploitation that involves whipping. The story overall of the title character, who is a complete bastard, dealing with either another man of the same name who is his antithesis or just a mental manifestation of guilt into a heroic guise isn’t fully resolved until the final shot which really makes the tale that much more effective. It’s also period shot, so it has that pseudo-Hammer style and look to it. The final flick of the trilogy, ‘Toby Dammit’ by Federico Fellini is the hardest for me to sort of wrap my head around. I’m not a Fellini guy, perhaps I just don’t get his style, and to call this an adaptation is being VERY generous. It seems to me that Fellini liked the loose ‘idea’ of the story and then made it his own. It mainly deals with the title character, in this tale a burnout of a British actor played incredibly by General Zod himself Terrance Stamp, who has an odd relationship with Devil, in Fellini’s version played by a young girl. To me, this views like late 60’s ‘Freak Out’ flick as seen through a boring acid trip. I just didn’t ‘get’ it, and only really enjoyed it for Stamp’s performance. Then again I’ve never claimed to be a film expert or understand things like subtext, I’m just some guy with a blog who blathers on and on about stuff. SO if someone can explain what I missed here, I’d greatly appreciate it. As a whole I enjoyed this flick, but it isn’t something, even with the delicious Jane Fonda and Bridgette Bardot in their hay days, I’d go back to again.

After a hiatus Paizo now back on track with its Shattered Star previews, and WHEW is this one a doozy! The Clockwork Reliquary is something amazing to behold. In fact in my opinion it might be one of the coolest pre-painted minis that have ever been produced. This thing is ENORMOUS, in fact in their blog post over at Paizo.com it was stated that this might very well be the biggest Large miniature ever produced. Seeing it in comparison to a bunch of old Mage Knight figures really shows it’s scale, and it is monstrous. Then you look at its design, and you notice how Steampunk and alien it truly is. The four arms, the three legs give it an almost insect-like quality. Now look real hard into the cylinder itself! There is a curled up skeleton in there! BRILLIANT! I know some folks don’t like ANY Sci-Fi mixed in with their Fantasy; I’m on the far end of that argument. I LOVE having Sci-Fi elements, and even Steampunk, mixed in with my Fantasy. I can’t see limiting myself or my imagination when there are just so many potentially cool ideas out there. This mini encapsulates that perfectly. I’m just blown away at its awesome sauce, and this is a MUST BUY in my book.

How ‘bout some…

FAKE SPORT’S NEWs – WWE ’13 EDITION!

I fooled you there didn’t I? You can admit it; I’ll only snicker a little bit. If you aren’t interested in listening to me go over how the game is going then feel free to skip down, it is YOUR LOSS, since this game is BOSS! So I picked up a month long X-box 360 Live Gold Membership to snatch up all the DLC stuff as well as all the fan created stuff I wanted. My roster slots are now TOTALLY filled. I’m serious, 50 slots completely filled. It sucks since I still have at least ten more wrestlers I’d like to add to it. I have four ‘Brands’ going right now; WWE on Mondays with RAW and on Thursday with Smackdown, Tuesday is for NXT, Friday is WCW Nitro, and Saturday is my ECW show. On Wed. there is Superstars which is shared by the NXT and ECW brands. That means every month there are four PPV’s, one per brand. It’s strange, when I was running My Universe before the re-boot after all the downloading Dave’s character was DOMINATING the title scene, and now my character is. Don’t get me wrong David’s character is still one of the top 5 contenders, but he has fallen back to the pack a bit, while my character was immediately thrust into a feud with the ECW Champion Keiji Mutoh. I managed to win that feud and the ECW title, and have since been battling the Gekido faction; Jushin ‘Thunder’ Liger, Jigsaw, and The Great Muta (another guise of the deposed Keiji Mutoh).

I even survived a short, but explosive feud with Dave Batista that culminated with Cody Rhodes from NXT showing up on an ECW PPV post title match to cash in his Money In The Bank title opportunity. It was really cool to have just barely defeated one challenger to have a cut scene of another rushing to the ring to cash in his title opportunity when I was at my weakest. I’m still not sure how I won that match, but the reality is NO ONE gets up from the ‘Pork Fat Express’ finishing move, NO ONE! David has been engaging in a series of matches that has led him into contention for the ECW Television Title putting him at odds with Rob Van Damm, Sabu, and the current champion ‘The Last Of A Dying Breed’ Eddie Kingston. Mike on the other hand has been battling and at the same time teaming with ‘Lightening’ Mike Quackenbush while dealing with Tenzan and Kojima, as well as the tag champs those DAMN Dudley Boyz .

Over on NXT Seth Rollins still holds their main title after surviving a 5-Man Championship Scramble at the Clash Of The Champions PPV. Seeing as I have him as a ‘Face’ in a stable of ‘Heels’ he’s mainly been dealing with the likes of Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, and Dolph Ziggler. He’s also got a ‘date’ with ‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal who won the NXT version of The Royal Rumble. Meanwhile Epico & Primo hold the tag titles are trying to hold off The Briscoe Brothers as well as the Luchador team of El Hijo Del Santo (the son of El Santo, YES THAT EL SANTO!)

and Blue Demon, Jr.. The Light Heavyweight belt has traded hands a few times and now rests around Santino Marella’s waist, but I don’t see that being for very long. On WCW, the ‘MAN’ Mark Henry, he whose heart does NOT bleed Kool Aid, is the current World Champion after he and the Nation Of Domination destroyed Stone Cold Steve Austin in a Hell In The Cell match. Austin then took the U.S. title off the waist of Booker T, and is still trying to get back ‘his’ world title. The Tag Titles are still held by The Road Warriors who are at war with the N.W.O., the Nation Of Domination, & the ‘Masked Marvels’ of Rey Mysterio Jr. & Sin Cara. I haven’t spent as much time with this brand as I planned, but with the rise of Kenta Kobashi through the mid-card I’m going to start. Last but not least is the WWE brand. To be honest I’m not messing with this at all, it’s mainly there to run itself. I’m actually contemplating removing some of the wrestlers I’m more interested in and putting them on other brands. Guys like Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, and Sheamus might be making their ways to the other three brands very quickly. Overall, this game never gets old, and now that I’ll have a 250 GB hard drive installed I just need to figure out how to make playlists of music and then I can have custom music for all those kick ass Create-A-Superstars I downloaded!

Now I think you’re ready for some…

RANDOM CRAP!

- After seeing how Dan Slott resolved Amazing Spider-Man #700 I’m now on-board with Doc Ock as Peter Parker as The Superior Spider-Man. It’s just genius, game changing, and yet perfect in keeping with the spirit of the book. Who knew that Marvel was now going to try & corner the market on the idea of ‘Legacy’ characters? Marvel NOW has been a revelation.
- Hey! I finally finished doing the Audio Play re-write of the amazing ‘Perfumer’s Apprentice’. In 2013 we’re going to record it. I have high hopes for this project.
- Speaking of projects, I’m thinking of doing a ‘Brick’ comic on this blog. It would be one page every two weeks or so, but at first once a month. My idea is a 70’s exploitation style LEGO post Mayan apocalypse through the lens of Thundarr The Barbarian.

Something fun like this picture.  Thus far my three protagonists would be a Bat Boy kleptomaniac, a two headed mutant woman who doesn’t get along with anyone let alone herself, and a robot bard who sings the ‘Classics’, and by ‘Classics’ I mean 80’s hair metal. It would have antagonists like a Vampire Robot, abandoned space stations, Dinosaurs, and Pirates on trains! So if you have any ideas or want to be a part of that feel free to contact me.
- I’m going to go see The Hobbit Sunday morning. I’m cautiously optimistic.
- I’ve never had Potbelly’s sandwiches before today, work bought them for us. They are damn fine vittles. And the fact that you get some Gardinaire to slather on your food makes it all the better.
- The Year In Evil 2012 episode of the Podcast is tonight. I’m sort of excited for it.
- I've been on a Chikara TEAR of late and I finally finished watching all three discs of 2012's King Of Trios tournament, and then followed it up with the 'Season 11' finale, Under The Hood. 

Let me just sort of continue the theme I've established in this blog about Chikara, it is amazing.  I think the above picture says that in itself.  Some of the storylines going on this year have been germinating since 2007.  The actual product in the ring is good, most of the performers can really 'go'.  It's funny without being stupid.  The bit Tommy Dreamer pulled with the Remote Control was hysterical, and went on JUST long enough.  I like and am invested in the characters.  After seeing the rift between Jigsaw and Quackenbush come to a head I want to know how it'll resolve.  I want more of Tim Donst screaming at Eddie Kingston 'YOU MADE ME!' while taking another hellacious beating.  And better than any of that, I want to see Ultra Mantis Black achieve his dreams of world domination.  Chikara is just enough wrestling, comic books, comedy, and joy that it scratches every itch I have to be entertained.  I HIGHLY recommend it.
- It's strange, but sometimes you can just look at someone and know that they are 'Crazy'.
- Vikings Vs. Packers on Sunday, and if the Vikings win they are in the playoffs! Also Adrian Peterson has an outside chance, needs 208 yards, to break Eric Dickerson’s single season rushing record. After they got so close to winning in Lambeau, I think that there is a pretty damn good chance, especially after watching them bully the Texans last weekend. I don’t think Peterson will break the record, but you never know, he hit the Packers up for 210 the last time they played.
- Dave is officially divorced. Congrats Soul Brutha #1.

And with that I think I’m spent…

“Within the darkest hour
When the dragon releases its power
They feel the urge to meet
To share and to intertwine

Beneath the leader of the horde
Men and demons are sworn
To kill and grant his grace
They are reflections of the master's face

The night is young and fresh
Witch a scent of macabre on its breath
Scattered they form a pattern
To be seen from the sky

If crimson was your color
Could your conscience bear your soul
Would you paint the space witch murder
Your spirit's breath so cool

They are cowards falling from their own grace
Infiltrating penetrating witch hate
Rounding up marching into the womb
Catatonic spending time in sin.”

* = It's true I do, and that's why Christmas was tits!

Where Eagles Dare Vs. The Big Brawl

* = Thank your Mr. Sandow, for you wisdom, your sweet beard, and your attempt to bring back the giant ring robe.











This will most likely be short today as I’m not really sure I have much to talk about, BUT I figure I should keep the ‘Blogmentum’ that I’ve established. If you listen to the Podcast I’m sure you’ll have noticed that it was INSANELY long this time, like 3.5 hours. That wasn’t by design, nor do I see it becoming the ‘norm’. In fact I think that we’ll be trying to tighten things up a bit and going as long as is needed. It’s not that the long episodes are ‘bad’, it’s just that they are L-O-N-G-! Dave and I have proven over and over again we can talk for HOURS and not get sick of one another. A lot of you don’t care for that, and really I’m sure David and I can think of other things to do with that time rather than give you mammoth Podcasts. So while we’ll try to trim it up a bit, we’re still going to do our ‘thang’ regardless of length. Oh, and if you didn’t know next week we hope to do the ‘Year In EVIL!’ Podcast where we will review the year in the way only we can. If you listen and have any suggestions drop them in the comments below.

Speaking of time wasting I finished reading Mark Chadbourn’s The Ice Wolves (** ½ out of 5).

It’s a Hellboy novel, although you’d barely know that reading it as it had FAR more to do with Mr. Chadbourn’s other characters. I’m a HUGE Hellboy guy; I dig the big red lug the most, so when I get a book where he is on the cover I want the book to be about him. What I’m not as interested in is reading about a man struggling with PTSD, a woman who he is ‘friends’ with but pines for, and his emotionally distant and aloof father. Granted the saving grace is this book is about the end of the world brought to you by EVERY Werewolf in the world trying to rest a magic item from Hellboy, and the ‘whiner’s crew’, while they search for it in a haunted house, so it’s got that going for it. Listen, I wanted to dig this book because it’s Hellboy, but I just couldn’t get around the predictable and slightly annoying secondary characters. I'm slightly surprised that this got throught the rigid quality control of Mike Mignola.  It just doesn't fit with all the 'Mythology' he's built up in giving us Hellboy's world.  Give me Hellboy fighting world ending Werewolves any day, but how about next time you have someone else write it.

I finally ponied up the ‘straight cash homey’ and grabbed the DLC for WWE ’13 on Xbox Live. I want to bitch and say it wasn’t worth and that I’m disappointed, but that would be a lie. Between the really great DLC stuff, I also was able to go through the Downloadable Community Creations catalog. All I can say is WOW! There are folks out there who are simply put artists with the Create-A-Mode. I filled all the slots for Create-A-Wrestlers with some of my favorite Face(s) and Heel(s) from around the world, including an amazing looking Jushin “Thunder” Liger. I had like 45 slots open and now they are all full, and the sad part is I would fill 50 more with ease. Now I’m just downloading Created Arenas so I’ll be able to add some flavor to my 18 extra PPV’s a year in My Universe. So this means it is time for another Blog segment that most of you will want to skip…

FAKE SPORT’S NEWS, WWE ’13 EDITION!

Since getting all these new competitors I re-booted the My Universe mode in order to better utilize my rosters. I started by putting most of the Attitude Era stars, with some exceptions, on RAW, I have currently eliminated Smackdown but put its roster to use on RAW as well. Wednesday nights are for Superstars, where two of my three new brands co-host the show, NXT & ECW. Thursday nights is WCW Nitro where I’ve littered the roster with WCW stalwarts like Kevin Nash and Booker T, but also put in characters that either had runs in the old WCW or I felt fit what I wanted that show to be better such as Bret Hart and Stone Cold Steve Austin (who competed in and was fired from WCW, over the phone while injured I might add, as the blond coifed Stunning Steve Austin in the late 80’s early 90’s). Friday’s is NXT which is made up of mainly young WWE guys, guys who are actually on the show NXT  currently, some CHIKARA talent, and some Ring Of Honor guys. Last, but not least is Saturday’s ECW, which is a hodge podge of ECW originals, ROH, New Japan, CHIKARA, NOAH, and even some WWE guys.

Thus far I’ve been sucked in to playing far more matches than I intended just because of the feuds and match ups on shows that I simply would have ignored previously. In fact I’ve lost more matches than I’d done previously with all the additional characters. Two matches, both losses, jump out at me as great examples why I’m obsessed with this game. First was last night’s Tag Team match on WCW Nitro  between two parts of Kings Of Jersey, Mortis (aka Chris Kanyon, Mortis just looks WAY cooler)

and Bam Bam Bigelow (their third partner is DDP) and my Nation Of Domination team of Mark Henry and The Godfather (the third member being Farooq). Two ‘Heel’ factions squaring off to see who the #1 Contender for the WCW Tag Team Titles, held by the Road Warriors, would be figured to be a war. That’s why I was amazed that half way through the match Mortis was waiting for the Bigelow tag and he withdrew his hand. He jumped down, waved off his partner and left him to get DESTROYED! And to be honest he did get destroyed. ‘The Beast From The East’ tried valiantly to hold off his opponents, but after Mark Henry totally escaped my Greetings From Asbury Park finish attempt it was all downhill. Eventually they threw Bigelow outside the ring and beat the piss out of him. It ended with The Godfather spearing him THROUGH the guard rail, and them leaving him lying to get counted out. It was brutal, and as slightly frustrating as it was, it was also INCREDIBLY awesome. Now I have two feuds going out of this as the Kings Of Jersey have to deal with dissension in their own ranks and with The Nation trying to destroy Bam Bam. By the way, does this look like the face of a man whose ‘heart pumps Kool-Aid’? I thought not. I THOUGHT NOT!

Which brings me to the second example; it was the CAW (the Create-A- Wrestler) of my friend & yours, Dark Dave against ‘Mr. Wrestling’ Kevin Steen.

I dig Steen, he’s got the anti-hero gimmick down, he can be damn funny on the microphone like when he does commentary for PWG, and for a chubby dude he has a great move set. I was interested in playing this match and seeing how it was going to shake out. I played as Dave and for the most part was getting the better of ‘Mr. Wrestling’ until I got CRUSHED with a Shining Wizard this caused Dave to bleed and I knew I was in some trouble. With some quick hand eye coordination I was able to get back into the match though, and even thought I had some serious momentum as I dropped Steen with high flying kick and ascended to the top turn buckle, beckoning Steen to get up so I could finish him with a leg drop. As Steen got up and Dave leapt I realized I might be in trouble. ‘Mr. Wrestling’ caught Dave in midair and Powerbombed THE CRAP out of him! It was a really neat spot and it was re-played like four times. Steen hooked the leg and that was that. I’m hoping that this is just the opening salvo into a feud between the two, because I sincerely enjoyed playing that match. I can only imagine what it would have been like on ‘Epic’ Match Experience level. Overall, the game is just continuing to blow my mind and I haven’t even touched the ‘Create-A-Story’ mode. It might be the very best video game I have ever set my grubby thumbs upon.

I’m going to stop now, because otherwise I’ll just keep ranting about how insanely good the game is and how much I love it. How about we wrap up this slog with some…

RANDOM CRAP!

- I thought about writing regarding my feelings about the tragedy in Connecticut, and then I realized sometimes saying nothing says the most.
- I received another copy of EACH of the second three releases of Terraclips for my final round of birthday gifts last Saturday in ‘The Cloud’. This will DRASTICALLY alter some of my D&D plans because I can NOT wait to make some serious ruins. Now that I have two of Vaults Of Ruin I think I can fill a table easily. This also means that I can finally build The Halls Of Torog for an adventure I’ve wanted to run using my two copies of Prison Of The Forsaken. Basically, this just opens up some options for me that should allow me expand on some ideas that have been just setting on the mental shelf.
- To say I’m tired is an understatement.
- I started watching 2012 CHIKARA’s Under The Hood this morning while waiting to come to the place that pays me. So far it’s decent, but I’m waiting for the main event matches. I’m eager to see Tim Donst and Eddie Kingston go to war. Oh, and of course to see the revenge of the devious genius Ultra Mantis Black!
- Last night Cassandra and I cooked together and it was not only a tasty meal, but a great time. Thanks sweetie!
- This morning on the Power Trip it sounded like a ‘bit’ got a little too real with ‘Meat Sauce’

and his girlfriend. I really hope it was a ‘work’ because if it turns out to be real then that is really messed up. They had, a few weeks ago, ruined his Christmas surprise for his girlfriend, the lovely Falen from KDWB. They adamantly claimed they didn’t know it was a Christmas gift, but being a constant listener I remember him telling them to shut up about it, and ‘C-Hawk’ & ‘Sludge’ kept going. So today they offered him an easy $300 to play a game successfully. The gist of the game at the end was that he had to answer some really difficult questions to get his money, and if he failed he had to smash some Christmas ornaments that he had taken from he and Falen’s tree. Well, being ‘Meat Sauce’ he failed miserably and commenced the crushing.

Apparently someone texted her and she called in bawling regarding one of the ornaments being from her dead Grandmother. I’m no judge of acting, but it sounded sort of real. If it turns out to be real then that’s messed up. At some point the teasing of Paul ‘Meat Sauce’ Lambert has crossed the line from fun teasing to just a constant mean droning. I like Chris Hawkey and even Corey Cove, but without Mike Morris to sort of buffer them with ‘Sauce’ they really have taken it a bit far. Like I said I hope it was a ‘bit’, because otherwise it really makes me want to stop listening.
- It’s sad but I’m starving for good Fried Chicken, Gyro’s, Chicken Wings, Egg Rolls, and Sushi. ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

I think that’s all I got today. If I don’t blog before, all of you who read this constant stream of insanity thank you and have a wonderful Holiday!

“Your solution, your proposition
It does repulse me, has me sick
I paid with my blood, my sweat and tears
To be in your school, your stubborn course

Counting numbers, without luck yeah
If I speak in a fowl tongue, you have my words
To realize and see, with an open eye
Gives you the magic, to give not die

It's not because of you
That I sit this one through
It's not because of you
And I'm still in love with what I do

Saints are coming, around the bend,
Without you knowing, they eat your brain
Choices were made, memories fall
Miles were driven
We were lost not gone

It's not because of you
That I sit this one through
It's not because of you
And I'm still in love with what I do

It's all because of you
That I sit this one through
It's all because of you
That I'm still in love with what I do”

      * = I hear ya Bats!  So the KFCs all over the place are closing down which gives me a distinct 'Sad Panda Face' as I will miss the Hot Wings.  HOWEVER, I've been informed that they will be replaced with Popeye's Chickens.  I'm torn, and now hungry.

Careers In Evil Podcast #13 - The Council Of Cross-Time Daves

The Czar & El Iron Fisto haven't talked in like...a week.  SO it's an explosion of insanity.  We discuss our combined asshatery, Diamond Dave Wheeler and his awesome sauce, Ben gushes about the wonder and majesty that is CHIKARA, The Gathering's discography is brought to light, we touch upon the current situation with Sister Sarah, whine and moan about plumbing woes, chat at length about the 'Man Crush' on Dave Gross, discuss bad luck and seasonal affect whineyness, we decide just WHO is the best Man Servant, we touch on why living in a sexual dry spell destroys our confidence, we debate how to argue without killing anyone, David tells us about his history of 'important relationships' forming from Personal Ads, we re-cap the last two weeks of Soul Pounding Burthdays, a guitar solo of the week is chosen, we compare just who is top dog in the League Of Extraordinary Davids, and we hug them shit(s) OUT!  So join us for an EPIC Podcast, yeah it's like 3 friggin' hours, or not....
Careers In Evil Podcast #13 - The Council Of Cross-Time Daves

Conquest Vs. Battle Beyond The Stars

* = Is this how it works David?

It has been a rough few weeks. I’ve been sick, I’m sort of disengaging from my family for a while after some post-visit issues and contemplation, I took a nasty tumble while shoveling, and then had a wonderful seizure. And by wonderful I mean at least I didn’t pee or poop myself. It is amazing how that sort of crap, along with the demands on time this time of year has on us, grinds me down mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’m just starting to feel like a human being again, which is good since it isn’t even over yet.

I have to say though Friday night’s “Bobert Birthday Bash” along with the subsequent Midnight Movie at the Parkway Theatre was insanely fun. I have to first off thank Heidi for allowing us to get to know Bob and subsequently Zack, which then led us to the awesome sauce that is Christy. It’s so strange to get to know people who you may have peripherally known through others, especially when I’m pretty sure most of his initial information on me would have been HORRIBLE, and deservedly so. We made our way to Christy & Zack’s place to play some BANG! (**** out of 5) and hang out prior to the sojourn to the flick.

I love BANG!, let me just put that out there right now. It is complicated enough to require some thought, but easy enough that ANYONE can pick up and play. It’s a great choice for a party game. The other wonderful thing about this game is it can be extremely social.  Which was a good thing since with the exception of 'Other Ben' I didn't know the other three folks that joined us.  I've realized that sometimes with new people I can be a bit of a 'tough in'.  I can get quiet, I have very odd body language, and since I'm enormous I'm not the most approachable.  That's why it was brilliant to meet and bond over a game built around betrayal and murder.  Good times!  So after being graced with some insanely fun gifts, watching Bob drink and get humorously loud, and eventually see Cassandra win BANG!, like she always does David, we headed off to the Parkway.

Sir Earl Of The Parkway puts on the Midnight Movie and it is brilliant. He gets a group of folks together in that wonderfully comfortable theatre and allows you to digest film brilliance. That night we were given The Green Slime (**** out of 5) a brilliantly strange Japanese, Italian, American Sci-Fi-Horror flick from the late 60’s.

It has a really strange tone and feeling as there is obviously backstory, but the movie just doesn’t really give enough of a crap about you to tell you exactly what happens. The characters are more archetypes than anything else, a perfect Tabla Rasa to paint insanity upon. Let’s be honest with one another this is a bad movie, so bad it is GOOD! There is something fantastically horrible about the one eyed strangely Lovecraftian beasties that spawn out of the titular Green Slime from an asteroid that threatens the Earth. Oh also, let me just point out that the movie Armageddon (** ½ out of 5) TOTALLY ripped off the beginning of this movie. TOTALLY! Anywho, it’s a fun movie to watch and riff on with friends and Earl was an amazing host. So much so that my lovely wife, who generally doesn’t dig on stuff like that, and most especially dealing with driving in Uptown, LOVED it. I look forward to the next Midnight Movie we get the privilege and the pleasure of attending.

Saturday was my Riff-A-Thon Birthday Gathering. I could write a whole blog on this and about how much it meant to me to have SO many folks just show up, but I won’t. I’ll talk about it on tonight’s Podcast. Instead just let me briefly say Thank You. Thank you to Cassandra, Extra Crispy Dave and his Gal whose name I can NEVER remember, Zack & Christy, Bobert, Cordell, Mick, Rims, Rayne, Honora, Mary, Christina, The Mason Man, Mighty Mike, Elegant Emily, and anyone else whose name is escaping me at the moment because I’m sure I’ve forgotten someone. Your very presence, let alone the thoughtful and touching gifts I received really meant a lot to me. Oh and to David and Jen, who were laid up with Jen just having gotten out of knee surgery ‘THANK YOU’ for calling. The mere fact that you called meant the world. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when it comes down to life I am unlucky in SO many things; looks, intelligence, employment, facial hair, etc., but in friends I am the luckiest S.O.B. walking the face of the world.

Cassandra had perused my insanely long book ‘want’ list and along with many of my ‘bestest pals’ and hooked me up with a CRAP TON of books for my birthday. One of the many I received was Keith Baker’s City Of Towers (*** out of 5).

For those that don’t know Keith Baker is the genius behind the 3rd Edition D&D ‘new’ setting Eberron. Eberron is a post ‘World War’ setting that is less High Fantasy and more noir meets Indiana Jones. It’s a setting full of magic being used for mundane things like lighting, and not so mundane things like flying ships and ‘lightening’ trains. There is intrigue, exploration, urban strife, and the possibility for conflict galore. It is also the setting that gave us the Warforged, sentient golems with souls so basically D&D ‘Robots’, and Shifters, folks with Were-folk blood in their blood allowing them to ‘Shift’ to a more bestial mode. I dig this setting, in fact I dig it a lot, however I’ve never played or run in Eberron. This is the second book set in this world I’ve taken the time to read, the first being The Queen Of Stone, also written by Keith Baker. I loved that book, and I’m still waiting to find the other books in the Thorn Of Breland stories, honestly I can’t say the same thing here. I wanted to love this book, hell the premise, the set-up, the story, and even the characters were right up my alley. There was just something about it that didn’t click. Perhaps it is that this is the first of a series, perhaps it’s that the characters are a bit too shell shocked after surviving not only the ‘Last War’, but also the ‘Mourning’, or it could just be that the protagonist with a secret thing is done to death. Either way I found Lei, the female aristocratic artificer cast out of her nobility, to be very draining on my patience. I wanted to dig her; the full play out of her ‘power set’ reminded me of how much fun I had reading about the Cobblestone Druid in the book Blood Of The City. It was different, it didn’t fall into your usual fantasy tropes, and it was fun. However her personality, whining, and the soap opera-light thing going on between her and the ‘main protagonist’, Daine, was annoying. Speaking of Daine, GAH! He did nothing for me. To me he felt like a Player Character being role played by someone who really wasn’t into role playing. He was very bland and as the ‘engine’ that was supposed to make the book turn he just didn’t. The two ‘minor’ characters Jode, a Halfling Healer with something to hide, and Pierce, the Warforged Scout who was created for war but doesn’t have one to fight any more, were FAR and away more interesting than Lei and Daine. In fact when we, SPOILERS, lose one of them midway through it really turned the book into a bit of a slog for me. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate the book, in fact I thought it was alright, but I just expected and wanted far more than I was given. Perhaps the sequels will build upon the good that Baker built rather than give me more of what I was disinterested in.

Wow, that came off far more negative than I intended. Let’s positive up this place with the other review of what I devoured and that would be Mike Mignola’s Sir Edward Grey Witchfinder (***** out of 5)!

Whenever Mignola’s involved you can almost, ALMOST, always be assured that I will swoon. And lo and behold did I ever swoon here. This character’s adventures take place in the same one as Hellboy, however they do so in the 19th Century. He is a man in the service of the British Crown dealing with the ‘Things That Go Bump In The Night’, this includes some really cool secret society stuff. The other thing I dug was the art, which while Mignola-esque wasn’t a full one attempt to ‘ape’ a guy who can NOT be duplicated. Instead Ben Stenbeck makes it his own. The fact that two of the main characters are based on Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing respectively made me giddy with joy! The story is fun, and while it’s a riff on Stoker’s Dracula, it is again something wholly its own. In fact it ties in directly to the Hellboy world in a fun way while still being fun, dark, bitter sweet, and action packed. Mignola remains the one true source of ‘Kirby-ness’ in the comic world now. He just spews wonder and fun with his every work both with his tales and his art. Thank you Mr. Mignola and your merry group of men, thank you for hours of enjoyment, and I look gleefully forward to reading more tales of Sir Edward Grey, Witchfinder!

How ‘bout we begin to wrap this up with some…

RANDOM CRAP!

- I’m not sure I showed this pic on the blog; it’s one of the many friggin’ GIGANTIC minis from the Reaper Bones Kickstarter.

My lord, March and that box full of INSANITY arriving on my stoop can’t get here fast enough.  That little guy there, that is an average 'Medium' sized Player Character type mini.  Gasp in marvel and despair!  Seriously, just look at that Dracolich, it is ENORMOUS!
- Speaking of mammoth menaces, did you see the Pacific Rim trailer? I almost wet myself.
- It looks as if there will soon be TWO D&D groups now, and I’m excited about that. If I get my wish and have a Co-DM for the 2nd group there will be some overall of my ideas I’m sure, as Mick wanted to be a part of the ‘World Building’ portion of DMing, and I don’t blame her it’s keen. I still would like an island hoping more Pirate like theme played in short episodic bursts to be the style as I think that would be a hoot. In the process of getting this off the ground it was brought to my attention that Bob & Zack would like to go back and play more adventures with their Halfling siblings from a previous campaign that sort of fizzled. I dig those two characters a lot, and I’m wracking my brain of ways to get back to them, and perhaps it might be a D&D held in May, where I’ll finally run my sequel to Castle Ravenloft that I wanted to do TWO Halloweens ago.
- Podcast tonight, it is planned and chock full of our normal brilliance.
- Speaking of planning, in February I want to do the next Trivia Death Match, and in March I’m thinking it’ll be a Chili Cook-Off. Between that and D&D, times 2, I think we’ll have plenty on our collective plates. Oh and in June when ‘The Bury’ is done with school it’ll be Contest Of Champions, super hero skirmish, in my basement! Perhaps followed by the often discussed and yet never coming to fruition Sci-Fi Basement/Garage War. For which I purchased, on the DIRT cheap, a ton of weird looking Star Wars Miniatures to serve as ‘Insurgents’. That’s right Alien Insurgents for Mike, myself, and possibly Dave to deal with. That’s just how my Sci-Fi rolls baby! As you can see there is SO much I want to do, who knows, as the possibilities seem virtually endless.
- You know I still want to run some Gamma World.
- An hour a night, at least, continues to be devoured by WWE ’13 on the new X-box 360.

What can I say it is everything I have ever wanted in a wrestling game. The Attitude Era mode is perfect, and I’m now into the Rock Vs. Mankind stuff which I love. The 'Create A' mode is wonderful and almost too much for my feeble skills to do much with. But the crowning jewel of joy has been the My Universe mode where Dave, Mike, and I are the Wolf Pack faction. We have succeeding in basically destroying The Industry faction that was made up of John Laurinaitis, Zack Ryder, Hunico, and the ECW Champion The Big Show. The Big Show has turned on everyone in an effort to hold onto his title, staving off challenges from all of the Wolf Pack, but also Wade Barrett, Alberto Del Rio, and even guys from other shows like Stone Cold Steve Austin. I think we might be headed towards a Title Vs. Title match between The Big Show and David, who is the European & The Internet Champion(s), as they’ve begun a feud. Big Show finally convinced Dave to tag with him only to betray him, so now it’s on. Mike has been teaming with both Justin Gabriel and The Blue Demon Jr. in constant tag matches. All the while my guy has been fighting with the members of the New Nexus. This Sunday I think we’re going to get the $1 deal for a month of X-box Live Gold membership so I can get all the DLC stuff like Gangrel and Ryback, as well as get some Custom CAWs. I’m DYING to get my hands on an Ultramantis Black CAW to get some Chikara up in this mutha’!

Because there is nothing cooler than Chikara, but even more importantly the most devious and dubious master of the Spectral Envoy, Ultramantis Black! Seriously on a side note, if you even are sort of ‘closet wrestling fan’ and like FUN then check out Chikara it is PG Wrestling with a MASSIVE amount of comedy, great matches with guys and gals from around the world, a super hero vibe, and really fantastic long form story telling. Anywho, it has been a fun time and I can literally lose time sitting my chair with a wireless controller just enjoying the mayhem.



You know I think that is all I have in me today, PODCAST tonight, steel thyself!

“Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance
Now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night”

     

* = Finn is the TRUTH!

Missionary Man Vs. Payback

My insides are melting. It is seriously what it feels like. I thought it was just the cough medicine which sometimes plays havoc with my insides, BUT it’s been over a week and my guts are still rotten. I’m pounding down the Pismol, and yet I’m still spending a LOT of time committing ‘War Crimes’ in the men’s room. As if any of you care, but at least that should tell you what sort of mindset I’m in as we hit the second day of the week on the way to Saturday’s inevitable birthday bash.

This year my lovely wife and ample posse of Friends, friends, cohorts, and co-conspirators set up a ‘Riffing-A-Thon’ as the theme, its one episode of MST3K, one of Cinematic Titanic, and one Rifftrax, the participants have 5 of each to choose from. I haven’t voted yet, but I currently like where things are headed. Friday night is a ‘Bash For Bobert’ at Zack & Christy’s swingin’ pad and then a Midnight Movie. I KNOW this will be spectacular because it will involve those people, board games, and a crazy movie. Speaking of awesome birthday gatherings, last Friday we had the ‘They Call Me Panda’ Birthday Bash for Hides. I think it was a smashing success as we ate some reasonably priced sushi at Oishi, we then played some friggin’ insane Crappy BINGO where Cassandra somehow won a brand new copy of Call Of Duty II: Black Ops on X-Box 360 which was NOT crappy, not at all. Oh and there was a box of shitty wine by bottle as a prize which was AMAZING. If that wasn’t enough we then wrapped up the night with some Cards Against Humanity. I’m hoping Hides has a great night, I had a suspicion she did when she looked at me in the waning hours of the night and said, “…I forgot just how loud you are…” and then laughed. As Cassandra pointed out the other day we have really been lucky to find a bunch of like-minded folks that we actually like spending time with, hopefully after this weekend everyone isn’t sick of us.

Two paragraphs about being sick, how about we turn to something that has NOT made me sick, in fact it has made my heart swoon. I just finished the indomitable Dave Gross’ King Of Devils (Infinite Quivering Palm Techniques Out Of 5!), and my mind was officially blown.

This is what happens if you take two of my current favorite literary characters, throw in a spoonful of Pathfinder (or D&D if you’re not hip to it), and mix with a fine froth of Shaw Brothers Kung Fu it is simply G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S-! Having read the other novels and tales of Radovan and Count Varian Jeggare I was always slightly curious as to how Radovan ‘lost his devil’, now I know. The two’s journey through the political machinations and mythology of Tian Xia on their way to dealing with two VERY intriguing and fun ‘villains’ is a true page turner. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again the thing Mr. Gross does is he MAKES me want to play Pathfinder. He makes me want to adventure in the same lands that he so vividly depicts in his tales. He makes me want to run campaigns where the PC’s meet Radovan in a tavern, or have to assist Varian on a ‘case’. His tales work perfectly as a gateway drug to the world of Glorian, and although he doesn’t read this drivel Eric Mona should realize that he has an amazing ambassador for his game in Dave Gross. Enough gushing let me talk a bit about the book. So we get a year of Radovan & Varian separated in the foreign lands of Tian Xia. Instead of the normal chapter by chapter split told from both of their points of view Mr. Gross also tosses in the adventures of their dog Arnisant as he deals with the Kami and their place in the Celestial Hierarchy of Tian Xia. Varian spends a year dealing with duplicitous machinations within the Dragon Temple, which while not the ‘main tale’ in this book is still a damn fine and ‘humanizing’ tale. Meanwhile Radovan is trapped in his ‘Devil Form’ due to the techniques of Burning Cloud Devil who wants him to kill the Celestial Dragon for him. As these three separate situations develop they head towards an inevitable collision that changes all three significantly in my eyes. Varian becomes a much more understandable and relatable individual, Arnisant becomes SO much more than a guard dog, and we see the onus behind Radovan changing some of his ways. It’s another great read from Mr. Gross and it only makes the wait for the next installment after the short tale ‘Killing Time’, all the more difficult.

It’s surprising that I finished Mr. Gross’ book at all since I have been literally CONSUMED by the Xbox 360, but more appropriately WWE ’13! The game is seriously incredible; the Attitude Era mode alone would have sold me on it, as you get to play some of the most fantastic moments of that part of wrestling history. Add into that the graphics which are so good they make my eyes bleed, the fantastic ‘Create’ modes, and all the ‘unlockables’ and you have a winner.

That says nothing of the WWE Universe mode, which is MY favorite mode. Currently David, Mike, & I have a stable together, The Wolf Pack, and we are feuding with a stable known as ‘The Industry’ on ECW. David is the European Champion and is trying to wrest the ‘Internet Championship’ off of the dastardly Zack Ryder. Dave had him beat in his last bout after using his finisher to put him through the announce table, he then chucked him into the ring, but he got bushwhacked by The Big Show who then proceeded to wear his out with a chair and then chokeslam him. This allowed Ryder to win by count out. Mike has been beating up on members of ‘The New Nexus’, but if the end of his last bout is any indication he’s about to face Cactus Jack! My guy has been feuding with the ECW Heavyweight Champion, The Big Show, who just beat me via an AMAZING chokeslam in a steel cage match that would have made me the #1 contender. I’m still peaking in and out of the other shows, but most of my time and effort is focused on the ECW ‘brand’ that I’ve built in ‘My Universe’, you should see the sweet arena I built. I haven’t even touched the storyline creator, because if I do I’m afraid that is ALL I’ll do, it is incredibly robust. As soon as all the DLC comes out I’m going to get an Xbox Gold membership for a month, download the content, get as many CAW’s as I can, and then restock my rosters. The DLC will allow me to unlock all the characters, belts, arenas, etc. that I haven’t gotten to yet and will give me the tools to build the universe I want! I know I have other games now, but DAMN it’s going to be hard for me to stop playing this one. It’s just a FANTASTIC game.

Let’s wrap this up with some…

RANDOM CRAP!

- I’ll be 37 this Saturday, GAWDS I feel old.
- My stomach has GOT to get its act together so I can eat all the things I’m starving for; bland food just isn’t my style.
- There is the hope that we’ll give Cthulhu Gloom this week, but the way things are going I’m not holding my breath.
- Right now I’d punch a baby for a nap.
- Thank you David for the Christmas gifts!

You know if I had more to say I’d write more, but I just don’t…

“Went to the doctor, to see what could be given.
He said, "Sorry, but you've got to do your own livin'."
Went to the pastor, to hear what he would say.
He said, "Sorry, son, come back later sometime after judgment day."
There is no safe way out of here. No passage below the dungeon.
No mother ship will save you. So goes the rapture of Riddley Walker.
Churchyard was empty, schoolyard was bare.
Wind in the streets, wind in the air.
Pockets of diamonds, nothing to buy.
Scream out hello and get no reply.
Victims of zombies convene in the park
While any man with dignity makes an easy mark.
Heaven is a long ways away. Heaven is a long, long, long, long ways away.
There is no safe way out of here. No passage below the dungeon.
No mothership will come save you. The rapture of Riddley Walker.
How many-cools of Addom? Party cools of stone?
Hart of the wood shudder. Eusa roam.
Drop-John been climbing on Riddley's back. Follow the power, a natural fact.
Orfing & Ardship, hardship is plain. Hardly Goodparley is ever the same.
Shadows and phantom's convene in the snow.
Among the low whispers are voices you know.
Heaven is a long ways away. Heaven is a long, long, long, long ways away.
There is no safe way out of here. No passage below the dungeon.
No mothership will come save you. The rapture of Riddley Walker.
How many-cools of Addom? Party cools of stone?
Hart of the wood shudder. Eusa roam.”

* = It's true, I am...