* = That's what they're there for...
My stomach decided to throw a coup yesterday. A very successful one I might add. Maybe it was the stress of the weekend, believe it or not hosting a Movie-A-Thon, babysitting, and errands can be very stressful. Maybe it was the massive amount of beer & crap food I ingested. Maybe it was the lack of sleep I allowed myself to suffer from. It could have even been a combination of all of the above, either way the natives were restless and they demanded ‘JUSTICE’! I spent the vast majority of my waking hours in the bathroom either ‘leaving deposits’ or praying to the porcelain gawds. It was an experience I neither relished nor want to repeat for quiet some time. I’m sure you’re asking yourself right now, “Self, why do I care about this shit?” I’ll tell you why, because in the midst of my gastronomical revolt I had the opportunity to finish a bit of reading and watch a couple flicks.
I finished Hardboiled Cthulhu (** ½ out of 5). It’s an anthology of mostly crime noir stories that deal sometimes fully with the Cthulhu Mythos, sometimes just peripherally. See the thing with Mythos stuff is that in the hands of a ‘just O.K.’ writer you get something between hack and fan fiction. Unnamable horror, suspense, bleak endings, and insanity are not easy things to do well. It’s easier to be gory, revolting, over the top, and obvious. This volume has some of that. On the flip side there are four stories within that were fantastic. I also have to admit that just because my ‘Cup O’ Mythos’ is Lovecraft, Smith, & Howard doesn’t mean that’s the only ‘Cup’. Some are much more willing to latch onto something else, I have found that I’ve developed a soft spot for Lumley & Stross even though each takes the Mythos in VASTLY different directions and tones. In the end it’s a decent read, not good, not bad, just good. And really that’s all one can ask for.
Speaking of something being all one could ask for I also watched Season Of The Witch (** out of 5 Stars, ***** out of 5 Nicholas Cage[s]). Let’s get one thing straight, Nicholas Cage can only act in two modes; crazy self-destructive manic OR crazy self-destructive maniac. There is a subtle difference; one wins him an Oscar the other gives us Ghost Rider (** out of 5 Stars, Infinite Nicholas Cage[s]). I harbor no illusions that the guy who did things like Matchstick Men (**** out of 5) & Leaving Los Vegas (**** out of 5) has been swallowed up by the guy who did a bat-shite CRAZY cameo as Fu Manchu in the trailers between Grindhouse (***** out of 5). In fact I don’t think he really acted in that moment, instead they just showed up to one of his houses on a Wed. night and just rolled. Anywho, I thought this movie has Ron Pearlman, swords, witches, demons, and etc. so how bad can it be? Well it’s bad. Like floating accents, bad CGI, Sy-Fy Channel movie bad. And you know what? I LOVE IT! Seriously if this had starred Lorenzo Lamas & Wings Hauser it would have been on the Sy-Fy Channel. It’s convoluted, goofy, and takes itself way to seriously, which makes it glorious. This movie MUST make its way into a Movie-A-Thon. I’m not sure when, and I’m not sure how, but it infinitely riff-able.
After watching it I decided that a bit of palate cleanser, so I popped in The Troll Hunter (**** ½ out of 5). I will just lie out the simple premise. Young student film makers go to make a film about mysterious bear killings and instead stumble onto a vast conspiracy involving what everyone thinks is just fairy tale stuff. Sure it’s a ‘shaky cam’ found film ‘mocumentary’, but it’s a damn fine one. The Trolls look fantastic, the mythology is wonderful, and it has a few genuine freaky moments. Is it a full-blown horror film? Nah, not really, it’s more of a National Geographic shoot gone crazy and wrong. I was really happy with this movie and I can’t wait to force it upon others. SO GO SEE IT! See that’s me forcing it on you.
How ‘bout some…
RANDOM CRAP!
- 21 miniatures painted so far this week. If I get a tad bit o’ help from the lovely wife I think I can just about clear the ‘table’ this week, then I’ll flock, and hopefully finish Friday that way they will be ‘usable’ on Saturday.
- Grilling tomorrow, THIS I SWEAR!
- D&D is Saturday, and I have three players who I have NO earthly idea what they plan on doing as they have responded infrequently to e-mail. I want this to go well. I’m re-working what I thought I wanted to do after the first 5 levels as I got a bit over-ambitious. If I reign it in and tighten it up I really think I milk some horror and wonder out of it.
- A man cannot subsist on saltines alone.
You know I thought I had more to blab about, but I’m drawin’ a blank.
“I'm in you
You're in me
I can't tell
You're so cruel
More than me
It is true
That's right
Loyal to
Only you
Up your sleeve
I want some (come on, take it)
of all of you (it's yours)
Trickin’ me
First it giveth
Then it taketh away
I would beg
I would plead
I would shake
On a hook
Dangling
By the way
I'm so young
And beautiful
(That's right)
(I'm slick)
I'm no fool
Time goes by
Tables turn
Now I know
First it giveth
Then it taketh away”
* = Hmmmm, I think this evokes a hell of a mood.
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