* = Hate Crimes committed in the name of Christmas, I'm 'bout it 'bout it!
Holy Crap! It's Christmas. That's right I'm bloggin' at like 2am. After a night of drinkin' and playin' the HELL out of Rumikube with the MIGHTY MIGHTY In-Laws I'm writin' a frackin' blog to collect my Brandy addled thoughts. The reality is I'm S-mashed! I've drank way to much in much to much a short span of time. You know it's 2am in the morning or so? Time is a fluid medium, so fuck it. It's what I hear, it's what I'm told, BUT howeve's or what-not(s) I'm doing it anyway(s), and the beauty is now I have a fraggin' co-pilot, say 'Ello' co-pilot Mighty Mighty Cassandra! "I got nothing(s) to say." Sad, oh reader so sad.
See the reality is what she has to utter to the untrained ear is NOT appropriate for you to hear. She's salty that way, especially when hearing "Killer Queen" at 2am in the morning on Christmas. She's actually a saint for allowing me to continue. The thing is I'm a wreck. As much as I like to pretend I'm A.O.K. I'm screwed, oh most royally. I miss my family.
Oh yes, that bastion of insanity that is the folks I spent my formative years around. Don't get me wrong I 'luv 'em. Like no other in fact, there is a fierce sense of almost Jingoistic loyalty I feel for them, but the reality is as much as I'd like, they are not me, we are not we, and I am not the Walrus. I just miss the shit(s) out of them. To be you alone in a vacuum of folks who are most definitely NOT you is difficult, but after 36 years is ANYONE really you? As I'm being instructed by my better half, while shitty late 70's music roars in the background there is no separation, there is no "YOU" anymore. It's always "Us". Get used to it. I've been absorbed into the collective. The thing is it's the collective of "LOVE", so I'm O.K. with it, shitty music and all.
I have to say, for all the YEAR OF SUCK has launched at me I have a stalwart companion, co-conspirator, cohort, Robin to my GAWD DAMN BATMAN, it's my wife Cassandra. Oh, like you didn't fuckin' KNOW! Seriously, if you didn't know Yo' ASS better AXE somebody! Seriously.
She's the proverbial wind beneath these large heaving wings. I'm tired. Sometimes tired of it all. Sometimes tired of just, well everything, but then I roll over and realize that for the first time in my life it's not about me. It's about us, and I get the F' over myself and go about the business of livin'. It's hard being a self-centered prick. It really is, but it's worth it, when you have found love beyond the loathing you feel for yourself.
I just wish that I could be the source of that for others. I will never be able to express the sense of loss I feel. I hurt in a way that's not repairable, not relatable, not understandable. A way that inspires rage, inspires hate, inspires frustration, but also inspires love. I miss in a way that I can't adequately explain. A feeling that is only filled by my amazing wife, my insanely uncanny friends, ZZ Top, and a LARGE bottle of liquor. I mean C'MON if you can't get down to "Tube Snake Boogie" then how the FUCK ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS?
Dave, Heidi, Mighty Mike, The Unstoppable Unfathmable Unknowable Bro-Lo El Cunado Ant, Lighten' Liz, Dangerous Dan, J.B., M.C.M. Posse, Char, my In-Laws which I love to a disturbing degree, Joe M'Fin' K., La-La & Lee-B. (oh and your unborn fetus), my niece & nephews (who are TITS with a capital T), and to anyone who I've neglected to mention, I love you. I mean it, and not in a "I only wanna' hit it and forget it" way. I truly love ya'll. Like F'N family. And generally all I do with those folks is fight, so you get the picture.
See what I'm tryin' to say is don't sweat the fact that I'm a complete emotional 'auto wreck' at this time, the fact is LOVED you folks. Friends is family to this local yocal and family are just those that I'm legally obligated not to strangle. So as you look at your loved ones on this Christmas day, remember that I'm tryin' hard to "wrap it up" without emotionally gushing all over your asses. I luv' ya, and your shoes.
Cassandra just hit me with some AWESOMENESS, so I'm out on a Hispanic note! HIT IT DAVE! MERKY CRICKY!
"Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Año y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Año y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart."
*= CHRISTMAS, Cassandra is plottin' 'gainst me! COCAINE!
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