Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Idle Hands Vs. Sky High

* = Who knew that 60's Spidey was a Wizard?  I bet Steve Ditko did...

I’m sure I have you scratching your head today as you skim this pointlessness, “why are you blogging twice this week, WHERE is the Podcast?” Well there won’t be a Podcast until, most likely, Sunday as David and I are both busy little bees this week. You see we are NOT at your beck and call to entertain you; we do so at our leisure. Actually, he’s spending quality time with his lady friend and her daughter, and we are prepping for babysitting a two year old overnight this weekend. This coupled with our normal busy schedules have pushed the Podcast back yet again. SO we’re going to have to work doubly hard, insert penis joke HERE, to make your wait worthwhile.

I started e-mailing back and forth with Kevin Andrew Murphy, the extremely cool and talented writer of ‘The Perfumer’s Apprentice’. He had somehow come across me fawning over his awesomeness in this very blog, and was kind enough to e-mail. In said e-mail he mentioned that I had talked about David and I doing an Audio Play/Radio Drama of that very story. He simply wanted to know if we still were thinking about doing it. Honestly, it had gotten pushed to the wayside as David was not as blown away as I was, truth be told he didn’t even finish reading it. A crime in my book punishable by being forced to watch nursing home sex. But I digress, this e-mail fired me up. So I forwarded it to my Chubby Funster cohort, who agrees with me, FUCK, now we HAVE to do it!” You see Mr. Murphy didn’t have to take the time to read this mindless drivel, and I’m sure he only did because it concerned him and his work. More importantly he absolutely did not have to e-mail me about it, however he did and that’s the beauty of the Interweb(s). A lot of folks who work in the things I love and am interested in started off as fans themselves, and they now have the ability to contact, talk to, interact with, and get immediate feedback from their fans. We as fans have the same opportunity, and when that serendipity occurs and we get a chance to ‘share’ over common enjoyed subjects you get INSPIRADO! This simple email has got us both VERY fired up to do this, and do it right. So thank you Mr. Murphy, hopefully we’ll do your tale justice.

Speaking of things I’d forgotten, here are three books I recently finished and I think I forgot to review. First up is the last Magister Setne Inhetep tale by Gary Gygax, ‘Death In Delhi’ (**** out of 5).
I enjoyed this book the most of the three tales of Magister Inhetep. It has a strange and somewhat convoluted plot, which in all honesty all three tales do, however in this tale Inhetep and Rachelle are the most fleshed out. We also are left to NO doubt of their relationship. In addition we see just why Inhetep respects and loves Rachelle so much; she is a competent warrior, but also a brilliant mind in her own right. The allusions the idea that she might be the progeny of that great Hag to the North still remain.  It makes me a bit sad that Gygax never got around to telling more tales of these two and resolving some of these dangling plot lines.  The big complaints I have is there isn’t much suspense when it comes to the danger, you know Rachelle and Inhetep will survive. That is until the final encounter of the book with the goddess Shiva, there is where the book really shone to me. Seeing this almost infallible, slightly arrogant, brilliant man have to not only humble himself, but outwit a goddess was really cool. It didn’t detract from the idea of the goddess Shiva either; she came off as not only regal but capricious and ultimately deadly.  Overall these three books were a extremely interesting and quite original take on the fantasy genre as a whole.  I'm just glad I finally got around to reading them, so I could appreciate yet another facet of Gary Gygax's genius.

I wrapped my four book stint in the world of Aerth by finishing Gary Gygax’s ‘Infernal Sorceress’ (** ½ out of 5).
This was a ‘lost novel’ that Gygax allowed Paizo to publish as part of its Planetary Stories line. It is definitely a pastiche on Leiber’s Fafhrd and The Gray Mouser, with Raker & Ferret playing their respective parts. While this book takes place in the same world as the tales of Magister Inhetep it lacks the originality and personality of that tale. Instead I really felt like I was reading someone’s really mediocre attempt at telling a Leiber tale. I can see why this wasn’t something Gygax published because it felt like it needed polishing. To me this book is the equivalent of a low calorie substitute, it just lacks 'bite' or the full flavor he had so carefully crafted in his previous novels.  It feels rushed, flat, and to ordinary.  In fact I felt that it, unlike Gygax’s other three tales of Aerth, read the most like an actual Role Playing session, which is something I really don’t care for. All that being said it’s not a bad read; I just don’t think it holds up against his Inhetep tales.

Lastly, I also finished Robin D. Law’s ‘Blood Of The City’ (**** out of 5).
This one is interesting because I just wasn’t sure what to expect as I was reading, but I was a bit underwhelmed by the character interactions. That being said I dug the characters themselves. The main character of Luma is a Cobblestone Druid, meaning she talks to and limitedly controls cities. She is the half-elven daughter of a wealthy mercenary family, but the step sister to all her human siblings. There are political machinations occurring in her city that have put her family at risk and she’s forced to step up to the plate and assert herself. Sounds straightforward right? Well that ends about midway through the book and this one turns in to a Tarantino revenge tale, which I really dug. That’s the thing though, we lose the likability of the protagonist to the point that she borders on being unsympathetic towards the end, almost becoming what she loathes. I am interested in reading the further tales of Luma, if we get more from Mr. Law. I think she’s a fantastic female protagonist who takes a real bloody and heart wrenching journey to become who she is without falling into any real clichés. That in itself should be applauded. So while it didn’t blow my doors off, it’s still a damn fine read and like the Nightglass, that explores some of the nastier facets of Paizo’s gaming world.

Last night we gave our pizza’s for Driveway Pizza War, this Saturday afternoon in my driveway, a ‘dry run’ before the competition to work out any kinks. Well I have to say that I really liked Cassandra’s pizza, I won’t give any of the details away, but I have to admit it was damn tasty. However I smoked her ass. Sorry sweetie, but you know it be true. I am going with a Cheeseburger Pizza. It has grilled burger meat, cheese, and a sauce that rocks. My sauce is a bit of BBQ, some jalapeno mustard, a bit of chipotle hot sauce, some mystery ingredients, and finally some caramelized onions. Together they make a ‘Boss Sauce’, and really put my pizza over the top, couple that with a crust carefully brushed with garlic oil, and sprinkled with the same grill seasoning used on the burgers and you have a potential masterpiece. I only have to hammer out my cheese choice, and decide whether I want a thicker soft crust or that sharp crunch on the bottom. I like both, so I might do both. Using the store bought crust allows us to knock out four decent sized pizzas pretty quickly; if you figure six pieces per pizza you’re talking 24 squares. I think that is more than enough to feed everyone and help them see that I do indeed rule when it comes to cooking on the grill.

Hmmm, what say we wrap this up with some…

- Torchlight II is all I want to do with my time. I just want to sit in a comfortable chair and play the HELL out of that game.
I made a Berserker, Katar, with a Dragon companion animal, Colli. I am really relying on all melee attacks, which goes against everything I did in Torchlight I, and using only weapons that attach to my fists. I’m also mainly specializing in attacks that focus my ‘Shadow Wolf’ powers. Currently, I rely on a power where I rush through enemies in a blur of shadow raining bloody claw strikes upon them all. I also LOVE to summon my Shadow Wolf and let it run wild. That being said I haven’t completely abandoned old tactics because I’m back to summoning Skeleton Warriors to take care of my ‘light work’ in the larger combat situations. It’s really crazy to be fighting a screen full of monsters with my little Dragon, summon up three Skeletons or so, and then release my Shadow Wolf, and then just devastate my enemies. I LOVE THIS GAME!
- If I’m ever rich, like really rich, I’m getting me a pack of Bull Mastiffs to raise as my own.
- I finally took the time and money to buy Maddie some more ‘Girl/Pink’ LEGO, well Chinese knock-offs, from Ebay. I figured my best bet was to just go with the GIGANTIC pink castle. I’m hoping that this now gets her as inspired to build and use her imagination like Sean does whenever they come to visit. Is there a better toy for kids than LEGO’s? I think not.
- Sunday I shall paint.
- Packer fans take it down a notch, everyone has gotten screwed. If you’d kept Rodgers off his back for the first half you wouldn’t have found yourself in that situation. The ‘woe is us’ thing the players and coaches are putting out there is really disgusting. They take NO personal accountability for their own attitudes and behaviors during this season thus far, so as a fan I feel no sympathy for them. The action of many of the players and a LOT of the coaches goes directly against the good of the game as much as or more so than a blown call. So for them to point fingers, bitch and moan, and use Twitter as weapon really turns me off to the NFL as a whole. Oh well it looks like I’ll just have to turn to college football.
- D&D is fast approaching I need to get into my prep ASAP. Perhaps next week I’ll sit down for a night and just focus on what I want to try and get accomplished.

You know I think that’s all I have to say…

“Don't stay; run away
He has ordered assassination
Don't stay; run away
The henchmen are gathered and waiting
Don't stay; run away
Your role as usurper is found out
Don't stay; run away
Tsarina has warned of the danger

It's your own fault
That is what we wanted
It's your own fault
This is where we lay

By the light of the moon
You must escape into the deep black of the night
Fight the devil inside
Enemies poison deep within my second sight
Wasting valuable time

Ride the tides of blood
Beauties sudden hand
Shattered crown
Stretching arms up high
We're on our way now
Leave the Czar to die

Spiraling up through the crack in the sky
Leaving material world behind
I see your face in constellations
The martyr is ending his life for mine”

* = It would be more tragic if Packer fans weren't such raging douches.


  1. Do you think it would be possible to complete your D&D prep downstairs and not give in half way through to play Torchlight? I don't think I could - I love that game!!

  2. AND Torchlight I loves you. However Torchlight I's love is a 'square's love' compared to the beauty and majesty of Torchlight II. Seriously you are going to FREAK when you start playing it.