* = When you think about it Willy Wonky is a psychotic, power hungry asshole who lives to torture children. I wonder if he ever thought about running for public office...
Every day above ground is a good day. I’m not sure where I even heard that, and most of the time I just sort of shrug my shoulders when I hear it. It’s not that it isn’t true, it’s just that its clichéd and for the most part my brain is running so hard and fast all the time that I don’t always fully digest these things. The last five days or so I think I get it. When you can feel the warmth of the sun on your face, the wind at your back, the faintest smell of spring in the air, and that strange promise of tomorrow before you it is indeed good to be among the living.
Don’t get me wrong, it wouldn’t be a blog if I didn’t bitch and complain, there are things that irritate me. You see lately our luck has been a tad sour. There was last year’s Holiday Poo Tornado, Dave’s divorce, the street up grade being imposed on us, work being work, my sister and I having a falling out, Dave’s break-up, Furnace Gate ’13, etc. Yesterday encapsulated a lot of those into a shitty little bow; one of the buyers of the Ebay auction wanted a partial refund, our dinner order was as wrong as wrong can get, a Friend had to deal with a suicide threat, 1800 Flowers had ‘forgot’ to reimburse as I was promised so I had to call and be a dick again, and I had a fantastic seizure.
All of that took a steaming deuce on the fun that was ‘Make Podcast’ with David. It makes me wonder just what I’ve done to earn karmic rage. I look around and see awful folks continue to have opportunities and good things handed to them while I scrape by. I try to do the right thing, I really do. I try to treat folks the way I want to be treated. I even try to curb my inherent negativity in an attempt to make the world a better place, AND YET it never seems to matter. I don’t matter.
I really don’t. In the overall scheme of things I am just another ‘brick in the wall’. I want to have an inflated sense of self-importance and say how I do, but in the tipping of the cosmic scale I am inconsequential. Now I’m not saying that on a smaller stage that I can’t make a difference. If I was suddenly gone I know that some folks would miss me; My Grandma, Cassandra, Dave, Mick, Joe, the upwards of 30 people who listen to the Podcast, etc. That being said I think that my absence would be filled by something else.
By association then it feels like all the things I try to do that are good just don’t amount to much. I said this a while back in a blog as a message to Dave’s ‘Pagan Stalker Gal’; ‘…the world doesn’t care about you…’ The fact is that is true, but the world also doesn’t care about me. I want it to, there is a part of me that wants the world to know I matter, that I care, that I want to leave it better than I found it. The part of me that thinks I’m owed, or that I ‘deserve’, or that I’m entitled. The fact is I’m not. No one and nothing really owes me or any of us anything.
However I do owe it to me and mine to not give up. To not let the real and imagined slights of the world embitter me to those spring breezes, soft kisses from my lovely wife, guffawing laughs of my best Friends, to paint under my fingernails, the taste of a burger hot off the grill, etc. The beauty of living above ground is the little things. And sometimes THAT is enough for me. I think it has to be.
Enough of that believe it or not I actually have been reading more consistently again. In fact in the last 4 days I’ve finished two books. First up was the fantastic Tim Pratt’s new Pathfinder Tales novel ‘Liar’s Blade’ (**** ½ out of 5).
This morning I finished Tanya Huff’s ‘Scholars Of Decay' (**** out of 5).
It was another week and thus we were given another ‘We Be Goblins’ preview!
Speaking of ‘Must Have’s’, Dungeon Crawler Miniature (SHILL!) has put up another teaser for its upcoming Kickstarter in March.
After that love fest let’s finish this bad boy off with some…
- It is a damn shame that Cartoon Network would rather feed us copious amounts of crap than continue shows like Young Justice or Green Lantern. Young Justice is just flat out incredible, possibly one of the best animated shows ever.
- You know what I want? Beer Cheese Soup, that’s what.
- I thought about doing some WWE ’13 ‘Fake Sport’s News’, but I just don’t have the focus or energy. Let me just say that with David & Mike on ECW and Diamond Dave Wheeler (Aka Rictor) and myself on the Indy Show I have a crap ton of cool stuff happening. Since I get this game to stop freezing I have become re-addicted to it.
- There is a ton of D&D prep I need to get done this week.
- All my Heroclix are up for sale. I’d prefer to sell them off to people that I know and folks that will actually enjoy them, but at this point I am eager to just have them gone. Just so you know my Zombie Hulk & Galactus are already spoken for. SO if you are interested drop me a line.
Crap, I thought I had something more to say…
“Is that how you are normally?
A total dick that doesn't have the sense to see?
You're trying so hard to sound smart but no one really cares
Do you act this way in public? How do you deal with the stares?
That's how you have the balls to say
Everything you do
In the real world we wouldn't get away with it
So shut the fuck up we're all tired of your shit
You hide behind your screen and say whatever comes to mind
How can you be so dumb, you're like the blind leading the blind
I know they're just words,but some things shouldn't go so far
Is this how you want people to think that you really are?”
* = Mark Briscoe and his awesome beard want to touch your boobies...