Careers In Evil Podcast #23 - Southern Comfort

The Czar welcomes the hobbled El Iron Fisto into the Secret Lair for a meandering, accent laden discussion. Topics include, but aren't limited to; the new Clutch album, why Thundarr The Barbarian RULES YOU, we enjoy a tasty guitar solo from John Butcher, talk some The Wonderful & Wild World Of The Whites Of West Virginia, losing fights with the driveway, we chat up about Battlin' Barb, Ben SHILLS some Kickstarters, we do some 'Dewey Say', Dave lovingly strokes my messed up knee, Heroscape, The Hobbit, BBW Porn, WIZARD!, Rolly Fingers 'staches, selling on Heroclix on Ebay, F'ed up dreams on Oxy, and David reviews his newly soiled Fleshlight. Listen, or don't...
Careers In Evil Podcast #23 - Southern Comfort

Barton Fink Vs. The Horrors Of Spider Island

* = Its true because my Grandma and Lady Christy told me so...

I didn't blog at all last week because I took an EPIC fall in my driveway on Tuesday morning.  What made it so incredible was in midair my body somehow decided it was going to deliver a Ric Flair style knee drop to the ‘face’ of the concrete.  

THIS was a bad body mechanics decision.  I thought I ‘broke’ my knee.  When I finally stopped gasping in-between some really loud and colorful language and realized I was in about 2 inches of snow on a quickly swelling set of knees I figured I had better get up.  THIS proved to be my first problem.  I’m a large guy, and that means it is a LONG way to the ground.  Not only that but I’m big, so I bring the ‘thunder’ with me.  Add to that the fact that I've had a great deal of surgery done to my already crappy joints due to poor decision making during my misspent youth spent playing sports and you have a recipe for disaster. 

When I finally crawled to the bumper of the car to use it to get up I realized my right leg was sort of a mess.  I got up, with great and horrible effort, and made my way to a place to set.  There I realized my knee was sort of ‘off kilter’.  Being a genius I moved it to get it back in line, which gave a horrendous pop and a truly amazing flash of pain throughout my body.  Luckily I had Cassandra at my side, literally at my side since I couldn't get up without help.

We somehow hobbled inside, got snow soaked clothes off, got re-clothed, and then began the process of getting comfortable and starting the icing process.  I spent the day like that, and without the help of David and some pain medication it would have been a brutal day.  I have limped through the last week plus.  It has sucked tremendously, every day it hurts, but every day it looks and feels a bit better.  If I had insurance I would have went in, honestly I would have.  Those that know me know that when I say that it means something.

I didn't though, because I don’t have insurance, and it is working out OK.  Thank everything that is full of win that I didn't break anything, and that winter is finally over.  Seriously, F’ you winter I took three falls in that damn driveway this year.  THREE FALLS!  I’m so happy to be done putting up with that crap.

So seeing as I missed a whole week I have a whole BUNCH of crap to talk about.  So much crap in fact that it can only be done by putting it into a segment I like to call….

RANDOM CRAP!

I finally watched The Hobbit (**** ½ out of 5).  

I    I for one am a big fan of the book, and feel it is required reading for or to your kids.  It is a grand adventure, beautifully written, and evocative to the minds of children.  Hides had instructed me that if I was going to enjoy the flick to forget the book and just try to take in the movie for what it is.  I was able to do that, and I actually really enjoyed the film because of it.  Is it perfect?  Nope, but few things are.  Is it fun?  Oh yes, it is a movie built for fun.  From the songs of the Dwarves, sung so beautifully, to all the little things that lay the groundwork of Lord Of The Rings, to Bilbo being our eyes and ears into this world of fantasy, to the heavy dose of action jammed into a tale that doesn't have a lot.  I liked the flashback to the Dwarves going to war with Azog the Defiler.  I loved seeing Smaug devastate the Dwarven homeland.  The scene with the Mountain Trolls was good, but could have been great.  Oh and the Gollum scene was incredible, truly something that elevated the movie in my eyes.  Hell, I even thoroughly enjoyed the excursion into the Goblin King’s kingdom.  They moved things forward, kept the pace brisk, and kept me entertained.  That’s all I really want with a movie like that, I want to be entertained.  My quibbles are minor; I didn't like the look of the Dwarves they were too model-like for my tastes, it only works for Doctor Who so that much running was lame, and the dividing of the tales into three movies sort of grated on my nerves.  Really it made me want to re-watch The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and then view this one again.  Oh and see the two other ‘Hobbit’ flicks when they come out.  THAT, in my mind, will be the true test of how good these flicks really are.

      

I really want Beer Cheese Soup.  Seriously.

It wouldn't be a blog of late if I didn't go through the latest series of Pathfinder Shackles & Skulls miniatures previews would it?  

First up is Selissa, who is a water Naga apparently.  I have about six Naga’s in my collection of varying forms and colors.  The thing is I've never really used on in an adventure.  I have to admit I really like this miniature though.  It has a TON of personality.  The sculpt is fantastic and could work in a lot of different ways, not just in a sea bound encounter.  It has flow and energy.  I also really like the colors chosen.  While they elicit the feeling of the sea they could also work in a jungle setting or a lost city perhaps.  As much as I’m unsure just how I’d use this particular miniature I like it enough to think of it as a MUST HAVE.  

Next up is the dreaded Shimerae, again another monster that I've never used as a DM nor have I faced as a PC.  It isn't a Displace Beast, but another nasty beast all together apparently.  Looking at it I wish the snakes on the back were a bit better integrated into the panther sculpt, I can see how that might be difficult.  The sculpt isn't overly dynamic, but it is threatening.  I like the look of the panther’s face as well as the mouths of the snakes agape and preparing to attack.  I’m just not blown away here, and I can’t think of a way I can stuff this bad boy into one of my campaigns right now.  Until I can see a better picture or figure out a use for it I think this one is going to have to be a PASS for me.  

The third preview is Arronax, who is obviously some sort of captain of a vessel.  I dig this miniature, I really DIG this miniature.  There is a mood in the stance there that is so flippin’ arrogant that I cannot WAIT to use this guy as a captain for a merchant company ship.  He’s going to be constantly sniffing something, and whenever near the PC’s he’ll talk through a perfumed piece of cloth because of the PC’s, “air of…adventure?”  I also like that he isn't using a rapier, but what looks like a Long sword   Having that nasty piece of work slung across your shoulder makes you come off as someone that people may not want to mess with.  There is just so much personality there that I can’t help but want to explore it.  If you can’t tell this is a MUST HAVE for me.

Next up is the first in a theme, it’s the dreaded ‘underwater Goblin’ the Grindylow!  This looks what you get if you take a squid, a shark, and a Goblin and mix them up, you get something GLORIOUS!  I like the soft blue in the color, I like the understated greens as well, and the wash around the nodes on the skin really help them pop.  I hope these are easy to get Commons because I’d like to get a BUNCH of them.  How much fun would it be to have the PC’s off the coast of an island full of battle hardened Goblins who force them back to their boats, but don’t follow?  When the night comes the PC’s find themselves under attack from a new sort of Goblin menace, one that boards in silence, one that surrounds the boats with ‘pet’ sharks, and one that has no problem sinking their vessel to get what they want!  Yeah, the Grindylow is a MUST HAVE for me.

Speaking of the Grindylows, the next miniature is the Brinebrood Queen.  She appears to be a Grindylow matriarch or perhaps some sort of shaman, or BOTH.  The change in the color style sort of bothers me a bit, as I’d like to have seen a unified color theme, but it isn't terrible.  The grays and browns work together well, and really give her face a much more shark-like appearance.  I like the strange ax/harpoon hybrid weapon, the strange lower body mass that erupts into tentacles, and that odd off hand that could be casting some type of enchantment.  Again it’s the color choice that hurts this miniature for me.  It doesn't change the fact that I have ‘Grindylow Fever’ and thus this is a MUST HAVE!

Last but not least, is The Whale who completes the Grindylow trinity.  This bad boy is a Large miniature, and the way it is build belies that.  It looks chunky, and slightly misshapen.  The fantastic paint choices are back in effect, which makes the paint job on the Brindbrood Queen all the more head scratching.  I love the gaping maw of teeth; they look to be slavering with hunger!  I do wish the arms had a better pose.  Right now they just seem sort of there, they aren't holding anything, they aren't in an overly threatening pose, and to me it makes the miniature look slightly odd.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be assembling a posse of Grindylows for the 2^nd D&D Group to deal with, and The Whale will be at the center of that fracas.  So you can guess that this one too is a MUST HAVE!

I’m almost done with R.A. Salvatore’s ‘The Sellsword Trilogy’, I’m diggin’ it!

Speaking of D&D type stuff, we had our first meeting of the 2^nd D&D Group, well first ‘play’ meeting anyways.  I was worried because the group is full of new players, it has a theme I haven’t tried before, and I haven’t fully wrapped my head around what I want to get accomplished yet.  All that being said, it was a hoot.  There are so many bizarrely fun character moments in this group that make it the polar opposite of the 1^st Group.  If the 1^st Group is the Suicide Squad then the 2^nd Group is the Giffen and Dematteis Justice League International.  You have a Dwarf who is a drunk always looking for a brawl, a Githzerai monk who is more than a little haughty, a Goliath barbarian who loves to be naked and to talk about his ‘onus’, a Halfling sorcerer and ship captain who is the default leader but seems to have her own ideas, an Eladrin wizard who is fascinated by everything BUT fighting, a Human samurai that seems woefully out of place, a Half-Elf druid who is slightly neurotic, and a Satyr bard who is an obnoxious rock star.  It is an eclectic group to say the least; it is also a group full of Role Players who take it to the hilt.  They made it to the island that housed the remains of the Library Of Erathis only to find that some ‘Company Men & Women’ had already set up camp on the beach.  After some intense negotiations that almost led to Zack’s Goliath character having to spend the night with the group’s Captain they were able to secure some supplies and head inland.  

This led to some dinosaur fighting, which I thought was SUPER fun.  I ran them up against some Velociraptors after sort of tricking them into thinking they were going to be dealing with an Ankylosaurus.  The ‘Raptors used some hit and run tactics, which worked well until the party sort of figured out their roles in the group and then they handed me my ass.  It was cool, and a very good first encounter.  I then threw a social encounter with some Lizardfolk at them, where they worked as a team and talked rather than fought.  This led to them making allies with this tribe, and an opportunity for me to do a TERRIBLE Japanese accent and speak broken English.  In the end they realized that the ruins were inhabited by a Dragon and that there was a reason all the other expeditions hadn't come back.  I thought it was a rousing success and I’m really excited to see how they handle what I’m putting together next.

I thoroughly enjoyed the 2^nd half of the KU vs. UNC game the other night, the third installment of the Roy Williams classic.  I do have to admit I couldn't watch the first half.  I wasn't freaking out as I just don’t think Roy can beat KU, but that 13 point deficit had me nervous.  Honestly, I miss Roy.  

      Don’t get me wrong I’m glad he has his ‘dream job’, and I’m insanely happy with Bill Self being the coach for KU, however Roy will hold a special place in my heart.  KU woke up in the 2^nd half and just toyed with Carolina.  TOYED with them.  It made me pine for Roy a little less.  I've watched a ton of March Madness thus far and I’m very excited for the next four days as they should be really fun to watch.  I just hope Coach Self can have the ‘Hawks ready to roll for two halves instead of one.

-     I just like typing Grindylow(s)!

I’ve been selling my Heroclix on E-bay.  It has been a mixed bag thus far.  I've sold five lots for just about $600.  However it’s frustrating because I can’t touch almost $500 of it right now as Paypal is holding it till my stuff is delivered.  I still have at least another 5 lots to sell as well.  This time I’m going to open it up to international buyers, and just try to get these things sold.  Thank you to David for all your help, without you this stuff would be still sitting in my basement.  I have to admit I was sort of sad when I shipped out Galactus this week.

My knee is killin’ me right now.

Have you seen Kimberly Kane as Wonder Woman?  

Well there ya go, never say I never gave you nuthin’ interweb(s).  Is it wrong that Porn can get Superheroes right when mainstream media can’t?  She looks perfect as Wonder Woman here.  The outfit is dead on, she looks tough, the bracelets look worn, and there is a sexiness factor there as well.  ‘Cause ‘duh’ its Porn.  See that’s the thing, I watched the Batman ’66 Porn, the knock off of the old Batman T.V. Show, and it was amazing.  I wanted to skip the sex because it came off as a lost, fantastic episode of the old TV show.  Anywho I just thought this was a kick ass picture that was an almost perfect representation of the Amazon Warrior.

     The other night David had us meet his new friend who is a gal, Battlin’ Barb.  After a nice dinner out at our local pizza gorgin’ establishment we adjourned to our house and watched an amazing documentary, ‘The Wonderful & Wild Whites Of West Virginia’ (**** ½ out of 5).  

I want to go on and on about this film and how F’Ning crazy it is, about how it glorifies ‘outlaw’ culture, about how the Whites are strangely reminiscent of my own family tree in spots, and about how this film is completely enthralling.  HOWEVER, that would mean that you are just reading about it from my perspective, and this is a film that has to be viewed.  YOU NEED TO SEE THIS!  It is funny, disturbing, heart breaking, bubbly, and incredibly sad.  Seeing how these folks live, and how they survive is fascinating and stomach turning at points.  The complex interpersonal relationships, the ‘who’s who’ of their world, and how those things can violently break down will leave you stunned.  There is a ‘no chance’ feeling that pervades the film that left me a little shook when I sat down and thought about it.  Beyond the ‘BWAHAHAHA!’ laughs of its insanity there is an underlying sense of doom for the family that really made the movie effective.  I seriously cannot recommend this film enough.  GO SEE IT!       

I need some huggin’.

Dungeon Crawler Fantasy Miniature Kickstarter has met its goal already!  So the Kraken is happenin’!  In fact they've already cruised on and achieved their next goal, the Firbolg Skeleton in its pre-painted form.  So we are on to the Peryton.  

As you can see here, in the completed form the wings have a new shape to them that is really cool.  I already dug the stance, that starving almost charging body dynamic.  It looks great.  I for one LOVE the blue and black paint mixture in the wings.  I love the hue of the horns and how they are different from the teeth and talons.  Here are some more photos to hopefully get you enticed to support Gifted Vision and this Kickstarter in particular.  Take another gander at The Kraken, it is gorgeous!  

The paint job is outstanding AND it matches the company’s previous tentacle line, SO I’ll be getting a bunch of tiny tentacles to supplement the big ‘uns.  The paint on the eyes really is fantastic.  They are black enough to be realistic, but there is that glare of light, of malevolence, that makes me desire to make this the centerpiece of a campaign.  I also love the small touches, the textures, the small color changes, and the attention paid to that gaping maw.  It’s just a wonderful miniature and I can’t wait for mine to arrive.  

Here’s another look at the Firbolg Skeleton, and the Medium sized miniature next to it provides a size comparison.  This sucker is BIG!  I've stated before that I really like how they packed a TON of detail into this miniature.  The armor, the cloth, the bones, and the weapons are all just loaded for bear in detail.  I thought about getting a ‘Natural’ (i.e. unpainted) version just to try and paint, but I realized I’m slightly intimidated by the complexity.  So I was super happy when the Kickstarter surpassed the pre-painted level for this sucker.  

Last up is another look at the incredible Bontimoth.  WOW!  That pre-painted DDM beside it is a Large miniature.  The Bontimoth dwarfs it.  And once again it will sport a paint job that will jibe well with the DCM tentacles ‘vine’ so you can add smaller nastier tentacles to any encounter that has this monstrosity in it.  As much as I can’t wait to see the painted version of the Firbolg Skeleton I think I might be more stoked to see just what the Bontimoth comes out looking like.  There is some serious potential in there for something special.  I know, I know I’m SHILLin’ like mad here, but I like supporting smaller companies.  Not to mention I own some of their work already and have been blown away.  It’s just a great company that deserves the attention and the opportunity to fill a niche’ in the miniatures market with their amazing products, so GO FORTH AND PLEDGE!

I’m thinking I’m going to bust out some WWE ’13 tonight.  I feel like hitting someone with a chair.

     

I really thought that the last episode of the Podcast was exceptional.  First off, Cordell was a fantastic guest and it was really cool to get him to talk about things that he NEVER opens up over.  Secondly, I think it served as a nice reminder that while David and I are ‘fun’ together we are smokestack lightenin’ when we can pull a guest in our wake.  Lastly, the format that we took from the accumulation of Dewey e-mails was really fun.  It was such a good time I've been bugging the crap out of David about when we are going to get back into the studio and knock out another one.  Hopefully soon…

   

It’s going to be in the 50’s on Sat.!  SUCK IT WINTER!  Time to hold onto your shorts, Spring is here!

I think that about catches us all up…I think…

“Shut up, don't pass the blame
The same god-damn thing just the name's have changed
On the day you were busted your forgot the line
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time
An animal's acting instinctively
Glorified murderer, insanity
Do you think I'd kill you just count to one
You're the coward, with the gun

Yeah, you thought you knew me
Yeah, you hardly knew me
You don't know me
I know I shouldn't care
My crazy senses of right and wrong that can't be made to break this,
break this, break this

I see something wrong and fix it with my hands
I walk a thin blue line, this cross I came to bear

So now you're dead well wha' dya know
And am I sorry no, I don't think so
They wanted sympathy now that's a bit much
How much did you show, how much
Take the value for one human life
And place it all right down on a roll of the dice
And a one, two, three for the pain you bring
I'm the bird without the left wing

Yeah, you thought you knew me
Yeah, you hardly knew me
You don't know me
I know I shouldn't care
My crazy sense of right and wrong that can't be made to break this,
break this, break this

I see something wrong and fix it with my hands
I walk a thing blue line, this cross I came to bear

Random acts of senseless, random acts of senseless
Random acts of senseless, random acts of senseless
Violence

I see something wrong and I fix it with my hands
I walk a thin blue line, this cross I came to bear
I see something wrong and I fix it with my hands
I walk a thin blue line and I'll be the one who laughs when,
You die”

* = Rumor has it that the Reaper Bones Kickstarter is starting to ship this week. So that means I'm less than 4 weeks away from holding this amazing miniature in my hands!

Careers In Evil Podcast #22 - Dewey Say...

The Czar & El Iron Fisto welcome C-Fish into the Evil Lair. Tonight we decided to give our #1 fan control over the show, so if it sucks its Dewey's fault, oh anf if it rocks it was all us. Topics include, but were not limited to; The Sequester, Nightwish, horrible tales of our pasts, Culvers' hate, "Is that racist?", Percy Harvin, Fer it or Agant it, M.I.W. shows, Apt Pupil, gun control, Dave's love life and why it is currently 'off limits', we SHILL for Kickstarters, CRISIS ON INFINITE PODCASTS, Czech racism, how David met Cordell, Hipsterism, and "would you like to come over and see my art?" So enjoy, or don't. We only really care if Dewey likes it...

Careers In Evil Podcast #22 - Dewey Say...

A Town Called Panic Vs. Moon

* = I feel like this every time we Podcast, that's why I scream it.  I guess that makes me the 'Careers In Evil Podcast' version of CM Punk.  Which would mean David is my Paul Heyman.  So David you are officially the 'Voice of the Voice of the Voiceless'.  This might explain a lot of our relationship....

I tried to think of something important to write about today, but when things are going reasonably well I tend to have very little to ramble on and on about. So instead let me give unto thee…

RANDOM CRAP!

- Paizo and Wizkids are already ramping up for their next Adventure Path based miniatures set coming out this summer. They’ve decided to go with Skull & Shackles, which with its ‘Piratey’ theme is good for me and my 2nd D&D Group. So let’s take a look at the first wave of previews shall we;

First up are two looks at the Buy It By The Brick gargantuan Dracolich, Brinebones. I have to say I really dig the sculpt, even at this stage. The spread wings and gaping maw are a drastic departure from the two DDM Dracoliches we’ve gotten from DDM in the past. I like the standing on two legs pose; it has real action and menace in it. The other pre-painted Dracoliches aren’t bad, but they just don’t have the ‘pop’ this one does. I’m really excited to see what it looks like when it’s painted. I think the other thing to take into account is the scale of this beast. Looking at this picture you get an example of its size.

The small painted miniature is a Medium sized elf, the Large miniature, oxymoron I know, is the MASSIVE Troll Champion. And while I think that this comparison shows just how odd the size is for that particular troll, I think it also shows the size that this piece has going for it. Perhaps it’s just the wingspan, but the Dracolich looks incredible next even to these two pieces. The only reason this is not a ‘must buy’ for me is the Reaper Bones Kickstarter, which should arrive this month. In that Kickstarter I purchased two GIGANTIC Dracoliches, both of which I think will be at least Brinebones’ size if not far larger. So for me this one is going to have to be a ‘PASS’.

Second up is the Sea Troll, or as most of us D&D veterans would like to see it referred to as The Scrag. I’m not sure what I think about this miniature. In the preview Erick Mona, Pathfinder Guru, stated that this troll will be more in line size wise with the previous trolls and not the Troll Champion, which I’m good with. However the actual build of the Pathfinder trolls just doesn’t do a lot for me, the exception being my beloved Troll Champion. The gangly, pot-bellied, long neck look just sort of feels goofy. This miniature’s paint job I do dig, but again the sculpt looks off and static. Not to mention the double wielding of hatchets with no real motion in the sculpt just isn’t that impressive to me. This miniature is most likely a ‘PASS’ for me.

Last up in this set of previews is the Pirate. First off, I have to say that I dig that the Pathfinder has had a diversity of ethnicity to that most ranges sorely lack. Secondly, I know I just complained about static sculpts, but here it works. This miniature would perfectly either as a NPC or as a group of deck hands getting ready to mutiny. It has a versatility to that I really dig. I wish we had a bit better picture to get more of a gander at the paintjob here, but I do dig what I can see. The muted colors, but colors nonetheless, go perfectly with the sculpt. I am very excited for these types of miniatures to finally be showing up in a pre-painted range, so for me this is a ‘MUST BUY’! Let me point out that this is going to go perfectly with the Dungeon Crawl Miniatures Kickstarter that gets going on 3/18/13, hopefully it doesn’t have too much of an overlap, but I’ll talk more about that momentarily.
- We grilled Sunday and it was GLORIOUS!
- Last Saturday night Cassandra and I went with our friend Mick to the M.I.W. show in Chanhassen. For those that don’t know M.I.W. is Minnesota Independent Wrestling. We went to watch a Friend of Mick’s, and a guy we’d board gamed with, named Peter, ply his trade.

If you read this blog then you know I’m a slightly closeted wrestling fan. I love Japanese Wrestling, I adore CHIKARA, and I think very highly of certain individuals in the more mainstream wrestling in the U.S. I had not been to an Independent show in some time, so when the opportunity to go came up I convinced Cassandra it would be fun and away we went. You know what? It was fun. It was SUPER fun. The match quality was good, very good in some spots, the crowd was loud and into it, we sat right up ringside, and booed and laughed with gusto. Peter, who wrestles as P.J. 'Petey' Thorn, had a good match against a guy with an AMAZING moustache'!  However it was a ‘non-ending’ as he and his opponent were destroyed by a heel team before a winner could be declared. I’m not sure how to describe what this was like, but I will say that we are going again, schedule permitting, in April, and if you want to go with let me know. Everyone should give it a shot, because it really was a blast.  Oh and by the by Peter is a kick ass guy, who has a Slaad and Dragon Turtle tattoo.  Yeah, you read that right.
- I’m really hungry for banana bread again.
- As I mentioned earlier Dungeon Crawl Miniatures is getting ready to re-start their Kickstarter, again. They have the Kraken, and the Giant Skeleton, but they’ve added to that the last seven days with two new previews.

First up is the Peryton! This is a strange and fantastic monster that has NEVER been represented in the pre-painted world before. If the production art is any indicator I’m digging where they are going with this. The darker base colors flaring out into more diverse, brighter colors in the wing tips that looks wonderful. I don’t know much about this monster, but the artwork of it, and the visual itself, is so crazy that I’ve always wanted to find a way to work it into a campaign, now I have to.

The sculpt prototype looks like a perfect representation of the artwork. It’s a predatory stance with an impressive wingspan. I think it’s a Medium sized monster, so roughly man-sized, and would be perfect for wilderness encounters or possibly on a mountain pass. Heck, it would work as a flock of Perytons being raised by a local Lord and used as bizarre hunting birds, perhaps by someone with Giant-blood in their family tree. Something I’ll have to think on.  Overall, I just think the beast just has a wonderful  and iconic look.  Those horns, the toothy maw, those bizarre claws, and the just the general feel of the monster illicits a bevy of ideas about how to push it into any campaign.  That's a testiment not just to the original monster, but also to the design work of D.C.M.

Next up is the preview for the Mermaid. This is just the artwork that we’ve seen for the last two Kickstarter attempts, so it’s nothing new. I think though with my current 2nd D&D Group’s ‘theme’ of the campaign and the new Skull & Shackles Pathfinder set on the horizon this bad mama jamma fits in perfectly. Again, it is also another beastie that we’ve never seen in pre-painted form. If the finished miniature can capture the look and feel of the artwork I think it’ll be a resounding success. I really like both the green and the blue models for color, but I think I’d have to give the overall nod to the green, perhaps it’s just my ‘gingerness’ talking.

The last preview was Botanimoth! I haven’t seen any preview art of this monstrosity, but damn I love that sculpt. I haven’t used enough man-eating plants in my games, but again this one is all sorts of inspiring. Perhaps as the favored pet of a Lamia in the Feywild who feeds her former lovers to this insatiable beast? I think one of the groups is going to spend some time dealing with the Feywild and the unknowable logic of the Fey Courts. I haven’t chosen which yet. Anywho, these previews make me more confident than ever that this Kickstarter will be a massive success, and even happier that I have chosen to again back them.
- I think I need a hug today.
- The other day my copy of the Sentinels Of The Multiverse Kickstarter arrived!

Holy crap does this game look fantastic. I like the old school feel of the game and the art. I also dig the idea of being able to play single player. I really want to play this with Cassandra and am going to try to do so this week. I hope it lives up to the hype that I’ve built around it. It would be amazing to have a great superhero game to play.
- I’m almost done with the ‘Worldwound Gambit’, it’s a damn fine caper novel in a fantasy world.
- For those that care we are doing a Podcast this week. I believe it’ll be Thursday. We’ll have David’s new housemate and D&D stalwart Cordell on. I’m not sure if we’re still doing the Dewey-centric format or if we are scrapping that, but either way I think it’ll be a good one with all the crap that we’ve all got going on including but not limited to; selling ALL my Heroclix on Ebay, Dave’s dating life, Cordell moving in, Percy Harvin getting traded, Dave being forced to fill out a bracket for March Madness, etc. I think we have plenty of yammering material.

I think I’m done today…

“I will never have the courage of others
I will not approach you at all
I was always taught to worry about things
All the many things you can't control

How can they have the courage
Of lords that have long since past
It's in their hands, it's in their heads
It's been in their blood for many years
It brings them sorrow
In a dark room he trembles alone
He trembles alone”

    * = Cassandra I'm lookin' at you here...

Creature Of The Black Lagoon Vs. Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang!

* = Frighteningly enough this is exactly what I think of when I think of my closest Friends, but then again I'm one bad moment from being an axe weilding misanthrope bent on making sure that the vast majority of people feel as miserable as I do...






I thought winter was done? I guess I can’t complain too much, it could be significantly worse outside, but I really thought I was done shoveling for the season. Guess I was wrong. Maybe we’ll get lucky and that whipping wind will blow all the snow from the driveway somewhere else. I sincerely doubt it, but a man can dream, and right now that’s about the only worthwhile one. In fact I made the comment to my trainee today that I wished I was in witness protection right now so I never had to work again.

I think I’d be completely content right now to be incredibly lazy and do nothing for a long period of time. Just eat, sleep, perhaps exercise, and daydream my life away. This was a Monday that I so desperately did not want to see come to pass. It was for no real reason beyond just not sleeping overly well and wanting more time to just bask in the glory of my beautiful wife.

I could have done that more on Sunday, but instead I felt the strong internal pull to finish Howard Andrew Jones’ ‘Plague Of Shadows’ (**** out of 5).

You know the Pathfinder Tales novels really don’t ever disappoint, and this one is no exception. The premise is fantastic as a local noble is cursed by a former adventuring companion and one of his former allies, and a former lover, must pull together a group to go track down an item to save him. It is remarkably simple, but the details are what made this book so enjoyable. Elyana, an elven woman, is the main character. She’s a season adventurer and lives close to the Lord Stelan, a knight and current baron of an area. The two used to be lovers but he took a human wife and bore an heir. The thing is there is no real cliché tension here. It’s simply the relationship that sometimes happens when two folks ‘outgrow’ one another but remain friends, there is BOUND to be tension between this person and the new spouse. What I also loved about this is Mr. Jones didn’t feel the need to make the wife the bad guy. She’s simply a woman who looks at her husband’s past and wonders if she can compete with it. It is VERY human of her, and it is written in a way that makes all involved sympathetic. In fact Lord Stelan could come off poorly here, but instead he is shown as a honest, good man who has made his decisions in life and honors them. I also dug that Stelan’s son, Renar is under the tutelage of Elyana, but he avoided the pitfall of her and he becoming romantically entangled. The fact is every time I was ready to groan at the potential of a poor, ‘easy’ plot being taken Mr. Jones handled it deftly and in a way that made the tale extremely satisfying. The rest of the adventuring party is rounded out by an affable and kind wizard named Kellius. He and Renar are pretty green, but are determined to save Lord Stellan. The captain of the guard, a half-orc named Drelm who may have been my favorite character of the book and an old ally, a bard, named Vallyn (I think) round out the party. They are in search of the shadow wizard Arcil, a former ally who cursed Stellan in order to get a magic item from him. Here’s the rub, nothing is what it seems. Elyana is far more dangerous, competent, and emotionally complex than you originally think. Stelan is more conflicted, a better man, and greater ally then you originally might think. Renar & Kellius grow up between the very pages and learn just how painful being a ‘hero’ can be. Drelm is just fantastic. He’s a weapon to be pointed in the direction of his enemies and let loose. He’s a man at war with the rage and loathing of his own blood, always apart, always underestimated, and always proving that he is more than he appears. Arcil is no different. By the end this character is perhaps the most interesting of the whole book. See Mr. Jones uses a fantastic trick and shows us the adventures of Stellan & Elyana’s old group through flashbacks. We see them in happier times, we see the problems they had, the loves they shared, and we see through Elyana and Arcil’s eyes just how it came to this. The book is a lot about loyalty, love, and friendship and what these concepts mean over time so it hit home for me. From a gaming perspective I am now in love with the idea of the country of Galt. A strange French Revolution in a fantasy realm setting full of intrigue, constant bloody revolution, and a truly nasty secret police force called the Gray Gardeners. I’d read about them before in the online, and free I might add, tale ‘The Perfumer’s Apprentice’ by Kevin Andrew Murphy, but never from the perspective of outsiders working actively against the powers in Galt. It has made me think that the 2nd D&D Group may run into something similar to this. So if you are looking for a quick, interesting, and ultimately fun read go check this one out!

Speaking of D&D, the 1st Group met on Saturday night. This was the beginning of the Paragon Tier and a continuation of the group’s attempt to end the threat of Sid and ‘The Stairway To The Stars’. I talked a bit about my plans on the Podcast last week with David who is always a good sounding board for ideas and feedback. I went forward thinking I had crafted a decent little jaunt into something new and fun. I’m not sure I actually pulled it off in execution though. On a quick side note the Players all got me their ‘1 Year Later’ write ups and I was blown away. I expected Zack Attack to DESTROY this exercise and really get after it with gusto and was not disappointed. I knew Bobert would likewise give me some extremely juicy bits to work with. I figured I’d get good stuff from Cordell as well. What I didn’t entirely expect was getting my doors blown off by Joe & Cassandra. The time, effort, and execution were excellent. I really think that this will help them solidify who their characters are, what they believe in, and what they do going forward. At least that’s the hope. I’d use this exercise again, but with much smaller requirements.

In addition we had a new player, Mick. She spent a great deal of time crafting a character that fit her sensibilities, worked seamlessly into the meta-story, and was going to hold her interest. There were a lot of things to juggle as this group tends to be tenuous allies at best, at worst they are a roll away from out and out interparty bloodshed. I was able to get some plot points completed before the game took off, killing of the Druegar jarl, Ivar, with Max’s (Bob’s Psion) betrothed The Seer, a Deva, as reparations towards Uwain (Zack’s Revenant Paladin of the Raven Queen), while also laying the groundwork for later events.

Drakel (Cordell’s Tiefling Hexblade) had built in a LOT of tasty character morsels in his Year write up which made it easy to put him in a position to later want to come back to the Monastery of Erathis. Fie (Cassandra’s Changeling Brutal Scoundrel) & Adler (Joe’s Genasi Swordmage) were a bit more in the background at the beginning, but that wouldn’t last too long.  Saveria (Mick’s Chaos Sorcereress) and the NPC scholar Alden were there for this portion, but weren’t all that involved.

So after the killing of Ivar and The Seer’s coup attempt while sending the PC’s into the ‘Stairway To The Stars’ the PC’s arrived at their destination. I’m not sure what they expected, and I really hope that I surprised them a little bit. They found themselves in a metal hallway which they explored, eventually they came to a room that shut them off from where they had come and were ‘attacked’ by four swarms of small insect like creatures who did no ‘real’ damage to them, but upon successfully hitting a PC/NPC fled the scene. Eventually the PC’s stomped these beasts into the ground and discovered that they were automatons of some type powered by pieces of Far Realm tainted meteorite. This of course led Uwain to cut off the ‘infected’ part of his arm in an attempt to remain ‘untainted’. Drakel burned his away.  Saveria allowed Uwain to cut hers off. While doing so Uwain noticed that beneath her billowing dress she was covered in tattoos of an old off-shoot of the Primordial language. Seeing as the PC’s react to ALL unknown folks with fear and suspicion I was surprised when Uwain was reasonable with her rather than intimidating. I try to sow that seed of doubt with all the NPC’s that a group meets, because I want them to be ‘real’ and have their own motivations. I try very hard for them not to be plot devices, but beings that the PC’s can interact with. Unfortunately, this leads to a group being insanely suspicious even of other PC’s, which might be due to Sid betraying them, thank you Zack! Let’s face it though; this group is full of anti-heroes and characters on the verge of out and out villainy. If you lie down with dogs you will most likely end up with fleas as the saying goes. Saveria and Uwain had an odd ‘moment’ at this point after she touched his sword, insert sexual innuendo here. This will be extremely important not just as this session played out, but I have a feeling it will be VERY important for sessions to come.

Eventually the PC’s found an opening into a larger cavern. Uwain, being undead and giving 0 shits, just marched on through. He was immediately suffering from cold damage, but noticed nothing right away. Drakel followed and immediately began suffocating and freezing to death. It was the ‘airlock trap’ I talked about on the Podcast.

I was infatuated with the idea of this as I liked the mental visual of a PC bulldozing his/her way into the cavern only to realize that they had made a DRASTIC error and we floating off into the ether of space to die. I however didn’t want anyone to die, not really anyways, so toned it down a bit. I could have ‘Tomb Of Horror’ed it up, but it seemed to defeat the purpose of a night of exploration and seeking. After getting Drakel back in the airlock and Uwain deciding that he probably couldn’t make it across the 150 yard expanse between airlock membranes he also came back in. Having Uwain in the party was a boon here to the group since he doesn’t need to breath and has resistance to cold, however he could have just kept going without them, which wouldn’t have surprised me, and they would have been far worse for wear. Now that Zack knows he can use this and most likely emerge only somewhat damaged I’m wondering how long it is before this becomes an issue within the party, especially if it prevents him from following an enemy.

The group made their way to a room, figured out, and activated a portal/transporter to another hallway. At this point they were getting the Sci-Fi vibe I was going for, but didn’t fall into the trap of meta-gaming the hell out of it. I have to say that they are a great group to run for in that context. This lack of meta gaming allowed Uwain to fall into a lightening trap in the hallway. I have to give Zack credit, Uwain is Uwain. He never falters in mission, he never changes direction, and he certainly never slows in pace. I rarely use traps, and this one was designed to give the group pause, and hopefully slow Uwain. It did not, and that’s cool with me. I might use more of them in the future now. Fie disarmed the trap easily and the NPC Alden, who is a coward of the HIGHEST degree took a great deal of time to examine its remains.

They explored the next set of hallways and rooms finding rundown living quarters of a few humans and a great deal of Drow, but this wasn’t the most interesting room they discovered. In the largest room on that level they discovered a vast area filled with large canisters holding a brackish, green fluid. In that fluid were bodies in varies stages of growth. The first they closely examined held what looked to be Sid. See this is the thing, in a way Sid has become a bit of the boogey man. He knows Max, Fie, & Adler EXTREMELY well, he’s been in their heads, he knows their secrets, and in his own way he ‘loves’ them. Uwain has seen his madness up close and wishes nothing more than his absolute and total destruction. It is a massive compliment to Zack that he crafted Sid in a way that he went from extremely interesting PC, to capable NPC, to major threat all organically.

I did very little work here as Zack had set the table for this from moment one. So Uwain of course went ape shit on the canister and destroyed it as well as this reproduction of Sid. The rest of the group explored the room while Uwain and Saveria destroyed the canisters and their contents. Two interesting things happened here. First off there was a reproduction of Alden in one of the canisters causing him to go into full blown freak out and run away. Drakel and his imp had to track him down, this is/was important but more so later in the session. Secondly the most fully formed of these clones was of Isobella. Now Isobella is the sister of Sid & Max, and also the long lost ‘love’ of Adler. Sid sacrificed her physical form to open the ‘Stairway To The Stars’. Max and Adler were hesitant to allow Uwain and Saveria to strike this being down, at first anyway. Eventually Max did his mental check and found it out that his body was a Tabla Rasa and he backed off. It took Adler a bit more and that was one of the better parts of the game in my opinion.

Zack is the best player I have, no offense to anyone else, he just is. He has gone out of his way to make Uwain the ‘moral center’ of the group. The thing is Uwain is a zealot. He’s the classic ‘my way or NO way’ Paladin. He’s relentless, remorseless, and driven by his ideals in a way that doesn’t allow for moral flexibility. Joe’s character, Adler, is trying to find himself after a HORRIFIC emotional turmoil. He wants to protect people, and he wants to do what’s ‘right’. These things come into conflict more often than you’d think. When Adler was sincerely questioning whether or not Uwain had the moral authority to decide what an abomination was and should be exterminated I thought it a powerful moment. The only issue I ended up having with it was Zack just steamrolled him. This isn’t a knock on him, it’s just simply who Uwain is. It is always interesting to be on the other side of the screen during this knowing how I’d react as a player, seeing the group dynamic at work, and seeing people grow into their roles and characters.

Eventually after the moral quandary they found another portal/transporter and made their way to another hallway. This led to the combat encounter of the night. It was a massive one at that.

I had a large cavern that the hallway opened into that was a mine. Inside there was a Mind Flayer, a gaggle of Drow thralls, a massive Umber Hulk, some Iron Defenders, and a few Automatons. I had planned for this to be the first of a few encounters, but once I got rolling I rethought that due to the time, my energy level and how the combat was going. The combat was sort of a mess, some of it my fault; I used a LOT of Daze and Dominate effects. Some of it was the players fault; TERRIBLY rolling, and Uwain charging into a room without back up. I won’t bore you with the blow by blow, but instead give you what I learned.

First off Iron Defenders NEED more damage output to be a viable threat, I rolled crits on Mick four times for 8 damage a pop and that is pathetic. Mind Flayers with thralls are a gigantic pain the ass for the PC’s and a joy to run. That being said the Dominate effect and the Umber Hulk’s maddening gaze basically put Bob and Zack out of the game, and that wasn’t cool. I have rarely felt like a shittier DM than having to watch two players sit on the couch, staring at the ceiling because an effect has rendered them useless. When my players don’t have fun, I don’t have fun, simple as that.

The Automatons ate turns and that was perfect for what they were there for. My biggest error was my atrocious, outside of the use of maddening gaze, use of the Umber Hulk. I needed to take a better hit, rend, and run approach, lesson learned there. I learned that the group FEARS Uwain being turned against them, I always need to find ways to keep Max occupied because at a distance he’s walking death, Saveria is going to be hell on minions, and Adler, Drakel, and Fie struggle with being tied up by mid-level functionaries. I also realized that’s a good thing, because if I put them in a position to work as a group, use synergy of abilities, and give them room they curb stomp the beejezus out of me. The ending of that fight was ROUGH as they took a 200 hit point Mind Flayer apart very quickly with a succession of effects and massive damage. It was beautiful to behold.

We ended the session with the group moving into a cave and finding two men, a Drow woman, and a dog. One of the men was bleeding to death and had obviously killed his Mind Flayer overseer; the Drow woman seemed upset by his demise. The other man was mentally damaged, and the dog spoke to Max. This puts us on the cliffhanger ending as Uwain wants to march on deeper into the mines, the rest of the group is trying to figure out what to make of these new NPC’s, and Alden has disappeared. Reading through this as I typed it I realized just how much Zack dominated the game.  I've got to find ways to involve the other characters more thoroughly and not allow him to run roughshot over them.  Overall it was a ‘B’ approach with only a ‘C‘ execution. The fact that I took two players out of the game so completely that I had to talk trash non-stop to keep them from falling asleep is crappy. It was what it was, and overall it was ok. It just needs to be better next session.

We received another ‘We Be Goblins’ miniature set preview!

This time we got a gander at Vorka, who looks to be a raggedy Goblin witch. Thus far this is the only new sculpt I don’t care much for. I’m confused by the hula girl sculpt. It just looks odd to me. I like the face, and I love the tattered witch hat with the bent down cone. I’m sort of ‘meh’ on the potato sack dress. In the context of a larger Goblin war party I think it’s a solid miniature, however alone I’m sort of nonplussed over it. If I can find it cheap I’ll pick it up, ‘cause I mean c’mon it’s a Goblin Witch, but if not it’s a PASS!

How about we finish this up with some…

RANDOM CRAP!

- The 2nd D&D Group is two weeks away from starting. I’m formulating my plans, and will be making use of the lessons I learned from Saturday’s sessions. I look forward to using 1st level threats again. Perhaps I’ll even favor them with some “KOBOLD WARRIORS COME OUT AND PLAAAAYYYYAAAA!” I know at the very least Cassandra would love it.
- F’ you snow, I don’t want to shovel.
- On WWE ’13 I’m contemplating forming my own B.D.K. stable with Antonio Cesaro at the forefront of course. However, this would require me to either destroy my Kings Of Wrestling stable, possibly turning Kassius Ohno ‘face’, or having him be the 2nd member of this stable. The more I delve into the B.D.K. angle in CHIKARA’s past the more I love it. Diamond Dave Wheeler pointed out that the game NEEDS a new Dangeous Alliance of ‘Paul Heyman guys’. So I will also be forming a team, possibly in the mold of the 4 Horsemen, with CM Punk and Brock Lesnar as the cornerstones. If only they had put Heyman himself in the game.
- Speaking of wrestling we might go to a MN Indy Show this weekend. I’m excited by the idea of this, as I think it would be cool.
- I might take a beef roast out this week, let it marinate in balsamic vinegar, maybe some wine, a dash of liquid smoke, and some Worcestershire sauce for at least 24 hours. Then rub it thoroughly with some spices, cook it really low (I’m thinking 250) for like 6 hours, and then letting it cool to wrap it in cling wrap. Let it set again for 24 hours, and then deciding whether to finish it in the crock pot OR to slice it ULTRA thin with the meat slicer and use it for some type of hot beef sandwiches. Tis something I’m contemplating.
- I still want that soup Cassandra. See nothing subtle or subliminal there at all.
- Lady Christy has thoroughly drawn me into the idea of a marathon of the terrible television program known as ‘A Haunting’. There would be riffing and drinking involved of course. This must happen, it is APE LAW!
- Bobert makes me want to play Mass Effect.
- Perhaps we will ‘Make Podcast’ this week, perhaps not. David is a busy and mercurial man of late. It is nice to see the Golden Palomino happy and expanding his never ceasing gravitational pull of friendship. I don’t know that means in the context of he and I, what I do know is that it makes the Podcast interesting. ‘ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?’

Well I think this is all I got for now…

“Every word I said is what I mean
Every word I said is what I mean
Everything I gave is what I need
Virgin eyes and dirty looks
On what I have and why I took
Counting all the hands I shook
Now I know why you've been shaking
Now I know why you've been shaking
So bleed your heart out
There's no more rides for free
Bleed your heart out
I said what's in it for me
Everything I've held is what I've freed
Everything I've held is what I've freed
Everything I've shown is what I feel
Burying lies and stealing jokes
And laughing every time I choke
Biding all the time you took
Now I know why you've been taken
Now I know why you've been taken
So bleed your heart out
There's no more rides for free
Bleed your heart out
I said what's in it for me”

* = I'm looking at you here Lady Christy...