Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Take This Job And Shove It Vs. Office Space

You know 2016, I'm getting tired of yours shit.  There is this crazy thing going on where I feel like I'm treading water with each day adding a heavier and heavier weight around my neck.  I am sinking in a morass of mediocrity and failure.  40 hours a week I am miserable, and now I am being phased out.

The person who has, since their start, has been coming to me with questions and attempting to put themselves in my good graces has become more and more overt in their clumsy attempt to get rid of me in what I can only assume is one of those 'cost cutting measures' that will put him in the good graces of the coin counters.  Today it is digging through our licensing regulations to show that we don't need to train people on CPR.  This is after we exchanged e-mails yesterday where I reminded him that it is indeed NOT a licensing requirement, BUT we have had it as a company requirement since before I started here ten years ago.

Yup.  A company that is ostensibly built for health care and gives 24 care doesn't feel that the people it employs should be trained and competent in giving something that might save a life.  Something I have used in this office to help someone, something that has been used no less than four times in my ten years.  However, it does cost money and that is what matters.  I find it VERY infuriating that this is the same person who will rail against 'the Machine' for not allowing him to buy an extra refrigerator for a program and says it is borderline neglectful.  And yet their safety in the case of potential life threatening emergency should be marginalized, minimized, and eventually eliminated.

You want me gone, I'm good with that.  You want to phase me out, I understand that it is a business and you are cost cutting.  What I find disgusting is that an entire department has been working at not working to make my job life miserable for three months, and now I have another person who is making it their little crusade to try to see me walk out those doors one final time.  It is going to be beyond difficult to listen to this person tell me how much they 'don't play the game' of office politics while they are playing that game to get rid of me. 

Almost ten years put in.  I have prostrated myself at the alter of 'Money > People'.  I have swallowed a lot of my soap box morals for 'financial practicality'.  And I have watched as I have been minimized, undermined, and am now disenfranchised with an entire industry that I honestly loved at one time.  I don't know what my next step will be, I am unsure where I will end up, what I will be doing, or if it will lead me to anything different, but I know that my days here are numbered and I will be damned if I won't be the one to severe this dysfunctional 'relationship'.

How about we wrap this up with some....


- Almost cut my finger off last night with a cleaver.  Good times.
- The smoker is amazing.  We smoked 14 lbs. or so of Pork Butt.  I'm not sure how we'll eat it all, but I can't wait to try.
- The How2Wrestling Podcast is pure joy.
- The newest Shuffle Sounds-Podcast recording will be delayed a bit as honestly I'm trying to figure out if I want to drink myself to death or sleep forever.  F-O-R-E-V-E-R-!
- We've watched some great stuff on the Pi lately; Krampus, Nina Forever, Kamen Rider, and Ash Vs. Evil Dead.  The thing is we haven't even scratched the surface of what's out there!  Best money I've spent in a LONG time, thank you Edgar.
- Smoked ribs are at home waiting for us in the crock pot sitting in a shallow bath of cherry Pepsi.  It is one of the only things making this day even remotely tolerable.
- I know a seizure is coming.  I can feel it.  It is like an electrical charge building inside me.  My eyes don't quite focus right, I'm irritable well more so than usual, the hair on the back of my neck stands up, and I start to feel outside myself.  I know its going to happen.  I know there is nothing I can do about it.  I just hope to minimize the severity, ride it out, and recover relatively quickly.  I just hate knowing that it is hanging over my head like the Sword Of Damocles.  I hate knowing it is inevitable.  And most of all I hate knowing that I never know when exactly it'll be, how bad it will be, and whether or not I can bounce back.  Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part.

I'm done bitching.  I'm done complaining.  And I don't just mean today.  I think that I'm going to adopt a personal policy with the Blog, the written part anyway, of not using it as a place to just throw up all my negativity.  I don't enjoy writing it, and no one who even reads this drivel most likely enjoys it.  2016 has been bad thus far.  Real bad, one might say MUY Bad.  But I am not going to allow this current trajectory to be the be all and end all of my existence.  Instead, I'm going to just try to find things, find places, find people who have, who try to, and who DO make this world and my life a better place.  Well that's the goal anyway, I'm sure I'll still rant and rave a bit. 

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