Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Zombieland Vs. The Cottage

Suck it dirty ‘Sconies, you & your own personal Darth Vader, Ted Thompson! Now let’s get something straight, I’m not a Vikings fan, never have been most likely never will, BUT I’ve always been a Brett Farve guy. My man crush on Farve is well documented, and while it’s not to the degree of my love for Dreamy Tom Brady, all the guy does is impregnate Supermodels & win Superbowls, it’s still quiet strong. To watch the first part of this Shakespeare like three-part epic unfold last night was incredible. As someone much smarter than me put it; This is a three act Shakespearean tragedy; Act I is Triumph In The Metrodome, Act II is The War In Green Bay, and Act III is The Playoffs. The only way that closure will be had is if all the principles die at the end of the third act. On a side note someone else put it that the Dirty ‘Sconies are torn. On one hand they have their personal messiah figure Brett Farve and now he’s been excommunicated from “The Church” aka the Packers. How do they resolve it internally? Do they root for Football Jesus or the Church? It’s a moral dilemma! Anyway the game was wonderful. Farve was Farve, the Packers kept it close, and Jared Allen did his best Derrick Thomas impersonation. Maybe the best part about it was watching it with Mary, Christina (F*&K!), Liz, & Dave. That’s right Dave & Liz came over for * gasp * a sporting event! Not only that, but it seemed like they had fun. So Act I is in the books, November brings us Act II and it should be a doozy, I for one hope World War Farve never ends…

Last Friday we were out of work early so we went to see Zombieland (********* out of 5 Stars). Seriously great flick. SERIOUSLY! I had moderate expectations, and was blown away. The opening 15 minutes are not only brutal, but also perfect, from the music to the slow mo deaths, to the massive amount of fluid spewing insanity. The movie only gets better from there. It had scares, it was laugh out loud funny, and it had some heart to it. Sure the heart was being ripped out and eaten by a zombie, but it was heart nonetheless. I don’t want to ruin any details for anyone so I’ll keep the rest vague. The Rules Of Zombieland are wonderful in their simplicity and functionality. The soundtrack was perfect. Woody Harleson is incredible as Tallahassee. The cameo towards the middle of the movie is one of the most organic and brilliant cameo’s I’ve ever seen in a movie. The best thing I can say about this film is once it was over I was fully prepared to go back to the ticket booth and put down another $15 for us to watch it again, we both loved it that much.

Mighty Mike hosted double-header Movie-A-Thon Saturday night. It was an impromptu thing, but was nonetheless brilliant. At the behest of others we started with the MST3K classic Space Mutiny (***** out of 5 Stars), starring Reb Brown. For those that know, it’s one of the best episodes in the history of the show because the film is SO bad. HI-lariously bad. We then were subjected to Yor, Hunter From The Future (***** out of 5 Stars), a movie I’d only heard about in hushed whispers in dark corridors. WOW! The theme song alone makes it worth the price of admission, which for those of you keeping score at home was free. It again starred that much underappreciated thespian Reb Brown, forever now to be referred to as THE Reb Brown. Mike & Charity know how to host a Movie-A-Thon and it was a real good time. We’re shooting for a follow-up in November where we will be doing a Day Of Shaw. That’s right an entire day, I’m hoping 5 movies worth, of 1970’s Shaw Brothers MADNESS! It’s so much Kung Fu I don’t think I can even stand IT!

How about we rap this up with some


- Ray Lewis, take your stupid looking hat off and shut your mouth. IF you had gotten those calls you wouldn’t have been talking like an idiot after the game. I respect that this guy is most likely the best linebacker of his generation, and a guy who has turned his life around, but he needs to be reminded that the officials didn’t stop him from making any tackles when the game mattered or gave the Raven’s receivers the drops at the end of the game.
- Waves of Mercury, you Chubby Funster. WAVES OF MERCURY!
- There is no better franchise pizza place than Jet’s Pizza in New Hope. NONE!
- I’m not a baseball guy, but Twins Vs. Tigers today, one moves on to get destroyed by the best team money can buy, the Yankees, the other goes home. I hope that the Twins can pull it off, for all of my Twinkies lovin’ friends.
- I happened to catch the first two episodes of the new season of Clone Wars and was again impressed. How come we can get a cartoon that doesn’t insult my intelligence, is fast paced, and keeps the feeling of fun that the original three movies of my youth had and yet Lucas and crew could only moderately entertain me with three blockbuster films?
- It’s a proven fact I make bomb ass salsa. It’s science.
- Steve McQueen is in the shop today getting some repairs done and that oil changed. I’m not happy that I’m going to have to pay big dollar dollar bill ya’ll, but it needed to be done. I need that car to run smoothly.
- This rain, while much needed and much loved on my part, is killing my mowing mojo. From what I can tell there is no end in sight. My lawn has been overrun with “sprouties”. It bothers me to see it. I’m counting down the days until I can get out there and chop those miserable bastards down with the power of a whirling blade. Maybe Saturday morning.
- I’m very tired right now.

Well I’ve got to cash some checks and break some necks so…

“The need to turn it up is overwhelming
I just can't sit still anymoreI
wanna break things with my hammer
I wanna start a little war
Isn't that what this little red button here is for?
I wish this song was louder!
I wish this song was louder!
Evil policeman patrol the city
They look for somebody to kill
They've done a little damage
They wanna do some more now
And they probably will
And they probably will
I wish this song was louder!
I wish this song was louder!
One night I had a vision
That the world was taken over
By a race of dirty filthy birds
I dropped to my knees
And I begged for mercy
But they never understand a word
No I was never heard
Hey now cheeky monkey!
Take a ride on the dirty donkey!
I wish this song was louder!
I wish this song was louder!


  1. Rodgers played well and he and the Packers were very scrappy in a game that was close only on paper BUT... dude looked like he was about to cry all night. Not a "waah we're losers!" sort of cry but the wet salty tears that come from staying up too late listening to The Cure sort of cry. Favre was dynamic, but the difference in personality was STARK! Maybe if he grew the 'stache again...

    Can't wait to see Zombieland - go Twins! - and I spent most of the day eating salsa. No lie. I like salsa with corn in it. Does your salsa have corn?

  2. He had tears of humility once he realized, "hey I'm not Brett Farve, never have been, never will be, and Ted Thompson has sent me out like a lamb to slaughter to placate his ego..."
    Farve = Football
    Great, now I sound like John Madden.
    - Zombieland is PERFECTION, it's AIRWOLF!
    - Go Twins, as well.
    - No corn this time. Although I do enjoy a good salsa with corn in it, or black beans, or mango, or even peaches, or hell you get the picture.