I’m not even sure why I’m even blogging today. I think it’s because I’m ‘ahead’ of the game so to speak and have some time I’m trying to kill. Literally trying to strangle this time. There is a great deal of planning that goes into my week. I make allowances for things to change, but when things that could have been avoided drastically alter them OR by the incompetence of others it makes me insanely frustrated.
You know what else frustrates me, this whole idea of different rules for different folks. From the national level of this fiasco in Arizona where the police are being forced into a Gestapo role of “Papers, PAPERS PLEASE!”, or the candidate for governor in Alabama having a commercial blatantly say ‘we speak English here, so should you’ thing it seems as if rich older white people have decided that they want their ‘Merica back. To the more local issues of people at my place of employment being unable to mind their own business, act like professionals, and do their job. I’ve grown tired of this. It’s tedious and annoying. I understand that there is a difference in ‘power’ or ‘prestige’ and those that have the proverbial gold make the rules, but don’t they understand that should you choose to continue to take, continue to constantly put up barriers between ‘us & them’ that all your doing is fostering an explosive situation? I for one don’t have an innate desire to be rebellious, to buck authority, or to protest, I like to think I’m rather easy going, I’m a geek for gawd’s sake. You’re more in danger of pissing me off over a Star Wars faux pa, all that being said I do have some things in life that I’m rigidly inflexible on. Whether it’s scheduling at my job, or my feeling that we shouldn’t pull people over for being Hispanic these are things that I’m unwilling to budge on. I think being reminded on a huge and small level of this lack of control in my life and the world I live in frustrates me to no end.
Maybe this is why I find such solace in the imaginary. This might be why I spend all sorts of time imagining far away foreign vistas, take mental flights of fancy through the endless possibilities of space, or obsess on garishly outfitted characters that hold tight to a rigid moral code while ‘righting wrongs’. Sometimes I think it’s less about my desire to stave off growing up and more of a coping mechanism for all the B.S. that I’m inundated with by people. See I really could care less about the vast majority of mankind. And although I have professed my love of breasts, I’m counting womankind in there too. I just find people to be endlessly infuriating, unpredictable, and unreliable. They seem to live to let me down. They can’t live up to even the simple expectations I have set up for them, and when I give them no expectations I become frustrated that they can’t impose some type of personal mantra upon themselves. It’s not that I hate people; I think I’m just disinterested or apathetic to them. This also isn’t a dissertation on my superiority; I don’t feel I’m superior in the least bit. I just find that most individuals are so self-invested that they have NO interest in me; my life, my hopes, my dreams, my inner nerd. And you know what? That is completely fine. I have “my Dungeon Masters Guide, I’ve got my 12 sided dice, I’ve got Kitty Pride, & Nightcrawler too, waiting there for me, yes I do…”
The more humanity de-invests in me, the more they distance themselves through pettiness, inflated self-importance, or ignorance, the more it proves that my theories on people, work, ‘Merica are all true. Don’t mistake this for bitterness, I’m not bitter at all, I’m just lucid to my place within my world, and how it effects my place in ‘my’ world. I’m learning that the old adage of “Life is short, Time is long” is true and how I choose to live my life is vastly MORE important than where and with whom I choose to spend my time.
Either that or I just have a bug up my butt because I NEED new episodes of The Venture Brothers soon…
What’s for desert after that little slice of introspection? How about a steaming bowl of
- I want to print off the rules and such for Warhammer Quest to use, but DAMN it’s like 300 pages. That is A LOT of paper and ink.
- See, I’m going to use all these ‘dungeon crawl’ board games & my brand spankin’ new copy of Battle Masters to enact the early history of The Known World, my D&D campaign world. I’m interested in maybe the Fall of the Dwarven Longbeard Empire in the Teeth Of Gruumsh Mountains, the Formation of the Knights Of The Autumn Sword, the War Of The Jade Houses Of The East, Flamebeard Megakeys, Ponce Nutcracker & Loki Angerbrow’s journey into the Black Ziggurat, the Acquisition of the Autumn Sword, The Shadow Campaign, the Fall Of Crintestel The Shining City, and the Expansion Of The Chained Kings. See these are just very loosely fleshed out ideas that have been half formulating in my head, high concept ideas. If they get fleshed out in some board gaming that would be awesome, if they don’t that’s cool too, but I must say I am hoping they do.
- Cassandra truly is the best. It’s true.
- Morrison’s current Batman storyline; Batman Vs. Robin has been AWESOME! Now that I know just how and why Robin, aka Damian Wayne, Bruce’s son with Talia Al Ghul, is so keen on killing Dick Grayson, the first Robin and the current Batman, I’m ALL IN!
- I know there is no excuse for it, but I want to go home. I want to go home, sit on my couch, watch movies, eat food that is bad for me until the wee hours of the night, and then sleep in tomorrow. ‘Tis but a dream I have…
Well back to hatin’ the world…
“Why do you think I became a Marshal? Drive around, drink coffee, yell at people.”