Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Maximum Overdrive Vs. The Duel

I don’t usually blog twice in one day, but I’m so irritated I figured what better outlet for anger than just blindly ranting into the ether. So in my time at the place that pays my bills I must deal with all sorts of individuals, situations, and dynamics. This is true for any place I’ve dealt with in my time in this field. I usually operate in a pretty straightforward black & white manner when not at home. Things are as they are, there is no personal connections betwixt myself and those I deal with so I don’t usually personalize issues.

I do however find certain things disrespectful and counter to me having a good rapport with those individuals I have to deal with. Today I received a double whammy. First was the issue of non-attendance to a meeting by the person who called it, & a failure to cancel said meeting after just lecturing others about the same thing. Not a big thing, as things happen the only constant in this field is that problems will arise, changes will be made. Then came the part that bothers me. We held the meeting anyway and it was very productive. The person who didn’t attend was upset and sent out, what in my opinion amounts to an unprofessional e-mail. Now understand that the dynamic here is we are on equal terms here. This person isn’t my supervisor, and I don’t supervise them. We have to work together to get things done. In the past that has been feast and famine, well I think we are entering another dry spell. I don’t handle people who can’t see past their own crap real or perceived for the greater betterment of their group, so when I’m professionally disrespected, not once, but twice in the same day by one person that makes me ‘check out’.

Then as I go to drop off some items to said person I’m ‘hit’ up by someone who I’ve really tried to help out and bend over backwards for since that department has become attached to our own. This person basically said your help is no longer wanted or needed in this matter. Wow. To have this conversation in someone else’s office in that manner doesn’t endear me to you. In fact quiet the opposite. I now have to change my tactics, tact, and interaction with this person to meet this new ‘standard’.

I think what upsets me most is this is all set in motion by one person, this one person who can’t, or won’t, separate their personal issues from professional issues. In the past I had a supervisor who was an active buffer to these sorts of shenanigans. I had a person who I trusted to listen, hear me out, and then re-direct me from taking this absolutist stand towards this person. Granted this person who isn’t here anymore also had their fair share of issues, everyone does myself included, but I could trust them. As of this moment I feel like I can only trust a few people here; Cassandra of course, but I don’t want to drag her into crap, and the other person doesn’t need or deserve to be put into an awkward situation.

When did helping associates become such a frowned upon thing? Is ‘control’ & title so important to some that they will cut off or hinder beneficial relationships just to prop up this idea? The thing that is so ironic about it is, it doesn’t help either of these people in the long run. It makes them look bad to those around them. Especially since the thing they are so avid to judge they weren’t even present for.

So I find myself looking at all this through the prism of professionalism versus my personal disdain. While I pride myself on my professional persona being detached, and above the proverbial fray, I can’t help but be pissed off. I guess the key is can I buckle down for the rest of the day and then blow it off? Will I let it taint my interactions with those folks who I feel are doing wrong in a self-aggrandizing, self-serving way? Unfortunately I think I will pull back, I think it’s prudent to minimize my involvement with them from now on. Maybe when there is the realization that I was, am, and will continue to do things because they are the RIGHT thing to do and not for any other reason they’ll seek to re-establish those relationships, and when they do I’m going to make sure they do so on MY terms.

Either that or I’ll just burn the F’N place down…


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