Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Giant Spider Invasion Vs. Track Of The Moon Beast

* = Face it, they OWN YOU!

So I was super-sick last week. Two seizures, fevers, a LOT of “quality” time in the bathroom, a fever blister that made my face look like my wife beats me, etc. It just wasn’t a pleasant time. What I did not understand is what an uproar my blog’s absence would cause among my friends. I know, I know it only lists that 9 people even read this slop, and I’d hazard a guess that out of that number only about 4 actually read it regularly. That being said apparently those that DO read it, although they rarely comment and that irritates me, enjoy it. I received an e-mail going so far as to call it, and I paraphrase here, a staple of their time wasting on the Internets. That makes me feel like I just got a kiss on the cheek from Mini Driver circa Circle Of Friends (**** out of 5), you know back when she looked good and get-able. It’s a glorious feeling to feel wanted. Even more so to feel wanted over the sparse disconnected confines of the Interwebs. So to those that care, I’m back, and I’ll endeavor to not let you down.

Oh and F’ off for guilting me. On to the show…

I watched quiet a bit of stuff while being relatively immobile, or lazy you choose;
- Batman/Superman Apocalypse (*** ½ out of 5) – Hey I’m a shill for DC’s direct to DVD work, I think it’s by and large exceptional. Lately they’ve been hitting it out of the park, that’s what makes this a bit of a disappointment. First off it’s again based off a Jeph Loeb story, so that’s one strike against it right off the bat, secondly they really tried to ‘ape’ the art of the late Michael Turner. I’m not one to trash the dead, and my momma always said if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing. So in summation I didn’t enjoy the art direction. What I did enjoy was some of the interplay between the “Big Three”; Superman, Batman, & Wonder Woman. The nerd in me can complain about a great deal of things, like the Doomsday army, but the reality is I dug the portrayal of Darksied and his pantheon of New Gods characters. If you dig Supergirl & Big Barda then you’ll love this little animated ditty, for me it was good just not the quality I’ve come to expect from DC.
- 12th & Delaware (***** out of 5) – Now I’m not here to tell you about my beliefs or belittle yours, frankly I don’t care enough about anyone to take the time to belittle them online, unless their famous, or an ass-hat. That being said, the lunatic fringe element of Anti-Abortion, aka ‘Pro-Life” a misnomer I hate because aren’t all of us technically ‘Pro-Life’, scare me. This documentary is about an Abortion Clinic in Florida that has an Anti-Abortion group’s building right across the street & a bunch of protesters in their lawn, every day. Both sides get time in this hand’s off documentary approach, so their actions and words dictate their true motivations. I do think there is some playing to the camera by both sides, but for the most part I also feel like this is an accurate depiction of this battle in our society. Listen if you’re Anti-Abortion this WILL not change your views, in fact it might strengthen them, or frighteningly, give you the ‘warm and fuzzy’ about those folks who put themselves on the ‘front lines’ of this “Holy War”. If that’s the case, what the f’ are you doing reading this blog? Now if you watch this and can see that while Abortion is a terrible thing, like Capital Punishment, but is a legal and a ‘necessary’ societal evil then you’ll find this fascinating. It’s a look inside the world of both sides. The fanaticism of the Religious Right that feel they are under continuous moral siege, and the fear of those who are trying to legally make a living. Not to mention the poor women who haven’t come to this decision lightly. It’s an eye-opening documentary no matter what side of the debate you find yourself on.
- D.C. Cab (***** out of 5) – We had an Emergency Movie-A-Thon on Saturday as I cancelled the Marvel SAGA night due to just being mentally run down. We at first had decided to go the route of a Bag O’ Busey, the films of Gary Busey, as our basis. That however quickly changed as we came to the realization that on short notice it might be hard to find some of the flicks we wanted to see like Point Break, Silver Bullet, & Predator 2. Instead we joined in movie nerd fellowship to breathlessly watch in awe and wonder D.C. Cab. I’m not entirely sure who came up with the idea of D.C. Cab or who fronted the money, but they were/are a genius. This is a movie ONLY the 1980’s could have spawned. It makes no sense, is full of a veritable who’s who of individuals basking in their full 15 minutes of fame, and it has no real semblance of a story to tell. All that being said, it’s bizarrely wonderful. It’s sort of like when you see other films from your youth that still hold up in that tiny bastion of your mind dedicated to your childhood. They aren’t good movies, but your feeling towards them overrides common sense, good taste, and fundamental reason, and that my friends is D.C. CAB!
- Snowbeast (** ½ out of 5) – What to say? It’s a MST3K worthy movie, T.V. movie no less, from the 1970’s. This movie would be a * flick if not for the company in which I watched it. Mighty Mike, Dark Dave, Liz, & Cassandra instantly elevate any movie by sheer force of couch sitting comedic force of will, and for that I thank them.

On a side note during the weekend, two weeks ago, I FINALLY got to take my first forays into Castle Ravenloft (Infinite *’s out of 5), the new and impatiently awaited D&D Board Game. I was not disappointed. It’s a loose system, and yes it’s a system rather than a true game, for a quick, fun, COOPERATIVE, and light dungeon crawler. So we played six times in the span of the weekend. First off the game is unforgiving. When things begin to go bad it can get ugly quickly, and I love that. We had a 50% success ratio versus the game. Secondly I dug the scenarios. We fought Gravestorm, the Dracolich, and in the end he killed us because we just couldn’t stand up to the onslaught. J.B. and I also went toe to toe with the Flesh Golem in what is one of my favorite scenarios in the Adventure booklet. You can either defeat him in combat, which is not easy but isn’t overly hard either, OR you can use items you accumulate to calm his rage which technically ‘defeats’ him. J.B. and I just whupped that ass, as we had a good strategy and array of weapons. The other thing we realized quickly is the monsters can be nasty, but it’s the Encounter Cards that are the killer. I felt the game has a nice narrative piece and has a TON of replay ability. The best part though is that the game is more or less a tool kit for variants, modifications, additions, and fan created content! The Board Game Geek dot com crowd has already added a ton of new, inventive, and high quality scenarios, monsters, and incredibly enough heroes! I am going to try and start coming up with some 10 to 15 scenarios that revolve around the different Darklords from the Domains Of Dread to build loosely affiliated scenarios. I’m not sure I have the Photoshop skills NOR the design skills of the BBG crowd, but what the “Hey” I’ll give it a shot. This Thursday I’ll be dragging the rest of the Thursday Night Board Game Coven deep into the bowels of Strahd Von Zarovich’s Barovian summer home; hopefully we’ll all survive. I love this game!

Oh I’ve lot my train of thought, thanks to Castle Ravenloft, so you’ll just have to settle for some…


- Oh we finished True Blood Season 3 (*** ½ out of 5). Well I just have to reiterate what I’ve said all season; if the show was JUST about Eric Northman I’d be riveted to the television. It’s all the other secondary and tertiary characters that I don’t care about that annoy me. Not to mention I was just about DONE with the Bill & Sookie soap opera, I want blood and death, not martial issues. Next season is going to have to W-O-W me in order for me to continue to watch.
- Last night’s rib shaped pork paddy sandwich and mash potatoes have stuck to my ribs in a heavy way.
- I’d really like to get a hold of a copy of Bat-Manga. It just looks insanely cool.
- The League, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, & The Venture Brothers all have started new seasons and I’m officially in television HEAVEN!
- Oh and on a side note with It’s Always Sunny, I was sort of “meh” about last season, in ONE episode this season they have COMPLETELY redeemed themselves and made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.
- Can I convince ANYONE to help me paint miniatures? Seriously I need some fraggin’ assistance.
- My father has convinced me to hurry up and get back to watching Fringe. I’ll think I’ll start over at the beginning of Season 1 and rope Cassandra into it with me, maybe it’ll give me some more fuel for December’s Marvel SAGA Campaign start.
- Oh Vikings. While there is a TON of people who are jumping off the bandwagon like it’s on fire, while hatin’ on Brett Farve, due to the 0-2 start, I’m not worried. I look for Week 7 to be the barometer of the Vikings season. They’ll be fully healthy, they may even have Vincent Jackson at that point, and I hope the rust will be off. If I’ve learned anything in the first two weeks of the NFL season it’s that EVERYONE is beatable at any time. Oh yeah I almost forgot. The Chief’s are 2 & 0! Granted they barely won both games & one was against the Browns, BUT they are still 2 & 0 and in the lead of the AFC West. In two years I think they’ll be a legit playoff threat.
- Vikings JUST traded for Vincent Jackson. Interesting.
- Oh and Bernard Berrian is a THIEF, he should be ashamed of himself for picking up a weekly check. Just as ashamed as Bryant McKinnie when that waste of humanity puts on shoulder pads. McKinnie missed his calling as a matador.
- I need to ease off the Football R-A-G-E-!- I’m re-watching both Garth Merenghi’s Darkplace (Infinite *’s out of 5) & Dean Learner’s Man To Man (Infinite *’s out of 5). I had forgotten just how damn funny these shows were. I also wonder just where the hell those guys went?
- Vikings beat reporter Judd Zolgag is saying their NO TRUTH to the story that Vincent Jackson has been traded to the Vikings.
- John Rogers D&D Comic looks good, REALLY good!
- I’m taking Castle Ravenloft to “The Cloud” this weekend. I think Anthony “I miss DDM” J. will be pleased…
- I really need to get to the Lone Wolf books. Maybe tonight I’ll bust out the first one, make my character and get to readin’. After I make some Lo Mein.

And with that I’m spent…

“I'm Garth Marenghi. Author. Dreamweaver. Visionary. Plus actor. You're about to enter the world of my imagination. You are entering my Darkplace.”

* = Seriously one of my favorite all time comedy series, go forth and check it out.


  1. I read your blog, and comment sometimes. But lately it's been all like, "Football blah blah blah" and my brain turns to mush and I forget how to read. Talk more about zombies! :) But it's cool to hear you're feeling better this week.

    -Giant Spider Invasion is my fav MST3K of ALL time.


    I still have HOPE in the Vikings...because without hope...

    Maybe if I didn't have to log in to comment, I would do so more often.

    True Blood NEEDS to raise the bar next season, there were too people put in concrete this season.

  3. Heidi
    I'll trade you MST3K episodes on DVD for you using your high level in Painting to do up some of my miniatures. In fact Giant Spider Invasion could be yours right now!

    I'll try to cut down the Football chatter and get to more Zombies, but one can only talk Zombies so long...

    Thank you, and I look forward to my weekly Bluntcakes fix.

  4. Dark Dave
    "...and bits of sick..."


    BAH! Loggin' on is a small price to pay for commenting goodness.

    That's right I just "BAH"ed you...

    I agree. The show needs more crazy like the villian who took the long concrete nap, & of course MORE ERIC NORTHMAN killin' sucka's, foo's, and perpetrators. OR Sucka Perpatrators. Either way. The reality is it's to big a cast of character they are trying to make important. Not every secondary or tertiary character needs a plot line. Some folks can just be folks. I don't need to know what thier doing in the background, & there is NO need for them to be doing a bunch of crazy crap, i.e. Hoyt's Mom. Lots of potential, and lots of potential let downs. We'll see what Season 4 brings.

  5. Oh yeah, bluntcakes.com, I forgot. Honestly, like my bff told me, 3 toons a week was aiming a little too high. I'm working on it, along with some new projects that have spawned from it, which is awesome. I'd totally be down to painting minis. I'd paint those damn minis ALL OVER THE PLACE.

    k, that didn't make any sense. I just got done with derby practice, and I'm all tweaked out.

  6. One toon a week is pretty slick. Ok, well I'll box up some minis and some MST3K and send that sheezy north!

    You'll have to give me the scoop on the "new projects". All my friends have these "Projects", and I have nothing. Gawds I'm boring...

    By the by reading your writing when your "tweaked out" is pretty damn funny.