Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Election Vs. Primary Colors

* = Ah 'Merica.

Psst. Hey. America. Over here. C’mhere. You and me, we should have ourselves a chat. Comfy? Ok here it goes. I want to see other people. Why? Well sweetie, you’ve changed. In fact you’ve changed a lot. No longer are you a home of the brave or a place where tolerance is key or even an effective cultural melting pot. Two years ago I thought we’d found something, maybe even rekindled that tender unconditional love we once had. Then you changed. You got so angry, so impatient, so ‘Merica.

All kidding aside last night has reminded me why I don’t think of us as that shinning example on the hill, and it’s not just ‘Mericans. Humans in general frighten me. We’re insular, xenophobic, easily cowed, and given the opportunity to do the right thing that is hard or to do the wrong thing that is easy, we’ll choose the easy every time. All animals, and yes Christian fundamentalists we are animals, do it. It’s risk versus reward thinking. There isn’t anything really wrong with it, it’s just because we are self-aware I had hoped that we’d be smart enough to see beyond what was being regurgitated to us by that 1% that controls 99% of the wealth on both sides wants us to see, say, and do. The mere fact that Michelle Bachman remains in the legislature makes me think that even here in Minnesota there is NO HOPE.

Now even if we disagree fundamentally on politics, like I do with Pita & Josey, we can be friends, because we can have a constructive dialogue. Hell sometimes it might even make me re-examine my own viewpoint. After surviving this election cycle though I’m finding that even I’m polarized. I think it’s just that there is a contingent of our ‘great’ society that is anti-intelligence. These are the folks that blindly follow cults of personality like Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh or Keith Oberman. You know the kind, those that can’t think for themselves instead they just regurgitate talking points. The scary thing is I’m beginning to realize that these demagogues are just puking out talking points given to THEM by other more shady talking heads. Does no one even try to think for himself or herself anymore?

It’s beautiful to be able to rant about this because NO ONE IS READING THIS! I’m the Internet equivalent of the guy with the sandwich board that says “The End Is Nigh!” I’m really hoping to win the lottery tonight so I can sequester myself away in some dark place away from humanity. I’m a modern hermit I guess. At this rate I would love to become agoraphobic, violently so. So in summation; ‘Merica we’re done, humanity bite me, Walking Dead is the BALLZ, and Cassandra I love you.



- I’m almost done with the 2nd Gotrek & Felix Omnibus and it’s very entertaining. I’ll be starting the 3rd as soon as I’m done. I hope to eventually find, buy, and read the 1st one.
- This weekend I think we’re going to get after the garage, do some rearranging, and maybe do up those damnable leaves in the yard. We’ll see what we have the energy for.
- Is it 3:30pm yet?
- Speaking of energy I think there is something wrong with me. I’m tired all the time; I would say I’m listless. I’ve become disinterested in things that generally bring me joy; I’m bizarrely irritable, unmotivated, and just overall struggling to find the desire to do anything other than retreat into a dark room and sleep. Maybe I’m sick or depressed, I don’t even know anymore.

All I do know is this is how I feel. My dad once said, " know Bennie we are all really alone...Alone together..." It resonates with me, and that makes me sad.
- It makes me sad to realize that the time for grilling is done for the year.
- Tonight is another new episode of The Avengers and it’s going to be about Captain America. Can you feel my excitement through the internet(s)? You should be able to that’s how excited I am.
- Reality is such a disappointment.

And with that…

“Once I saw the galaxies in your Jack and Coke eyes,
And the sacrificial temple where your monster always dies.
Once I wrote a gospel out of every word you say,
And now you're on the front page of the USA Today.

Cutting to the front of the line I find my mind
Is no place to raise a family.
And I was looking all over for you, baby.
You were always right in front of me.
And tonight I'm declaring your love to be a waste of time and money.

Once I raised alpacas with your pet Komodo dragon,
While I was eating cardboard in my father's station wagon.
Once I sold everything I owned to buy you a diamond ring,
And now you're over at CNN sitting down with Larry King.

After 5 bottles of wine my friends opine that I should consider therapy,
But they've clearly never been with you, baby,
They don't know about the things that you've told me,
And tonight I am declaring my life is a joke no longer funny.

All publicity is good publicity
When you sell your conscience in this city
Achieving high elasticity
Shock resistant with electricity”

* = What is that thing your hiding in your basement?


  1. Hey, "oh Bennie", that's cute, does he really call you Bennie? I understand that sentiment, but I choose not to believe that we're all drifting alone through life. I intentionally surround myself with the select few people in my life that I really cherish, who I know will always be there with me, be they friends or family. Notice that I said they'd be there 'with' me and not 'for' me, that's an important distinction to me.

  2. H.,
    He does. Surprisingly enough it doesn't bother me. I too surround myself, but to often I feel that I'm apart from these folks. Heck sometimes I feel apart from Cassandra and she's my best friend. It's strange but there are moments in time where I feel "unknowable". Like the things inside me, the feelings, thoughts, dreams, nightmares, etc. are just so nonsensical that they have no way to be effectively expressed.
    I'm learning that the world scares me. It scares me in ways I'm unable to or refuse to recognize or deal with. It steals from me my confidence, my desire, my want to be a part of the human race. At the same time I desperately want to disappear into the throngs and just be one of the 'sheep'. Ignorance is bliss, and currently I find bliss in very little.