Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Outland Vs. Zardoz

* = I don't know where I found this, but damn if it's not cool in a Scooby Doo meets Zombie Apocalypse way...

So after the maudlin post on Monday I decided it was time to lighten it back up and talk about all the crap I’ve been exposing my tiny brain to. So here are three films that I spent some time with last weekend;

- Megamind (***** out of 5) – What The Incredibles (***** out of 5) was to the Fantastic Four, this is that to Superman. I knew I was going to like this flick, I just didn’t expect to fall in love with it. I’m an unapologetic Will Ferrell fan, most likely always will be, but his turn as erstwhile incompetent megalomaniacal villain Megamind is truly inspiring. This movie doesn’t just love it’s super hero tropes, it gleefully basks in them while also taking loving care to tip them on their ear. In reality I enjoyed every bit of this flick, be it Brad Pitt as Metro Man, Tina Fey brilliantly mocking Lois Lane as Roxanne Ritchie, David Cross as scene stealing Minion, or Jonah Hill doing a disturbingly creepy vision of Jimmy Olson gone horrible wrong as Hal. This is just a fun movie, and it’s to bad it doesn’t get the love it deserves. As for me I’ll be lovin’ up this movie (ya like that Dave?) as often as possible.

- Shivers (*** ½ out of 5) – David Cronenberg is a guy whose movies you’ve most likely seen. I know I have, but I’ve never had the undying love or appreciation for them the way my movie aficionados allies, Dave & Mighty Mike, have. So in order to rectify that situation, and to curb the melancholy mood 2011 has set upon both myself and Mike it was determined an EMERGENCY Cronenberg Movie-A-Thon would take place. On the docket was Shivers & Rabid. This has a lot of the same feel as a zombie movie, and that’s not a bad thing. There is a claustrophobic, end of day’s vibe that permeates the film, sort of rotting just beneath the surface of the first half. The thing is you really get a feeling that David Cronenberg has some SERIOUS body issues based on this flick and his other movies. He might even be somewhat of a germaphobe. The twist of the infected become sex crazed maniacs is a little different and in reality the way it’s carried out is creepy as hell. Cronenberg does a good job of setting a tone and not forcing you to see all the horrible acts commited instead he leaves that to your vivid imagination. This is a low budget 70’s flick and it shows visually, but it’s well done and it will push you in uncomfortable ways.

- Rabid (*** out of 5) – This was our second Cronenberg flick of the night. Really Rabid is a variation on the themes Cronenberg hit in Shivers; body invasion, hyper-sexuality, and plague. While it’s a bigger movie, better acted, and larger in story scope it doesn’t have the same confined and tense feeling that Shivers elicits. I really dug Marilyn Chambers in the lead role as the infected woman who must feed on the living while simultaneously infecting them. This was quiet a stretch for an actress who I only previous knew through adult films, not that she’s not a hell of an actress in those, but I’m just sayin’. The male lead was a pretty wooden performance, but strangely ‘Walken-esque’, which made it bizarrely fun. Cronenberg isn’t afraid to smash you with a downer of an ending, but this one doesn’t quiet have the ‘all is lost’ feel of Shivers, and between that and the definitive lack of mood it’s just not as good a movie.

I do look forward to our next foray into Cronenberg territory as I think he’s an interesting director and has some themes that both push the boundaries of the view and are extremely inventive.

So for those that don’t know for about a year now I’ve been slightly, ok I’ve been INSANELY, obsessed with the prospect of DC Universe Online (Infinte *'s out of 5!). Well it came out yesterday. I didn’t pre-order. I know I’m an idiot, but luck was with me and I found one of the last copies in the Twin Cities metro in Plymouth. It took a while to install, two long attempts, but once I got it up and running OH what a time was had. Cassandra helped me to design my first character, a hero named Raptor. We took the look of Hawkman, because I love him, and ‘tech’ed it up. Raptor uses two blades, can fly, is pretty damn strong, and has a sweet tazer grappling hook attack. So this is a Massive Multiplayer Online RPG, but the combat isn’t turn based. It’s strictly button combo mashin’ bliss! The premise is Luthor, in the future, puts together an end game, as seen in the fantastic game trailer, and WINS! That’s right Lex and company manage to off the heroes, well with no Superman and Company to stop him Braniac moves right in and takes over. Luthor travels to the past to warn Batman, Superman, & Wonder Woman, & infects a ton of humans with nanobytes giving them powers in an effort to stop his future. The premise as you can see is fantastic.

Building a character is really fun, and we went out on a limb and took Wonder Woman as our mentor, which has already served to change where my character starts and what it is his focus will be. For the record there are six mentors to start with; Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and for the villains Lex Luthor, the Joker, & Catwoman. I know there will be a ton of updates and the potential for add-ons is astronomical. It is a learning curve, for me at least, to use the mouse and keyboard, but as the night progressed I became much more adapt. I’m hoping that eventually I’ll figure out how to use my video game controller with this particular game.

As for how it plays, well it was fantastic. My character awoke aboard one of Braniac’s invasion ships and had to fight his way out without being overwhelmed, which was not easy with my fledgling skills. In the end I had to destroy a weapons array while being mobbed non-stop by Braniac’s soldiers to allow Superman to Boom Tube into the ship. This game makes you use some smart tactics or die. It’s as simple as that. So eventually Supes and I mopped up and I was transported down to Metropolis, it was midnight and I had to stop playing and go to bed. Which was unfortunate because there was PC’s EVERY FRIGGIN’ WHERE! Oh and did I mention that by the time I reached Level 3 and got to Metropolis my costume had drastically changed due to items I’d picked up? I started out looking like a technological version of Hawkman, and instead ended up looking like a Kirby-esque 4th World flying brawler. I love this game and I’m going to have to work REALLY hard not to waste my life away glued to my computer.

How ‘bout some


- Helium Francis & the Fairly Unknown Army have officially entered into the Twin Cities Marvel SAGA lore. Thank you David.
- Normally I’m always looking for something to do every weekend, some event or a reason to get together with friends. With all that has transpired here recently I’m really excited for this weekend to get here. Nothing on the docket, no plan to plan anything, just blissful solitude.
- I hope the Patriots drop 50 on the f’n Jets.
- The plan is to continue to knock out my Basement Sci-Fi Wargame army this weekend. Sunday night I was able to put together like ten of my human conscripted soldiers using WH40K Imperial Guard soldier bodies, various heads, and some Wargames Factory Shock Trooper arms. I like the way they turned out so far.
- Laughing Cow Cheese RULES YOU!- By the by if you love nerdery & good art like I do, please check out this blog;
I don’t know the artist personally I just really enjoy the strip.
- This whole Arizona assassination thing is disgusting, not just the whole crazy murderer thing, but also the way that pundits, commentators, and idiot bloggers have used it to push their own personal agendas. It’s obvious that logic, humanity, and common sense have drowned in the shallow end of the gene pool to make way for the slack jaw troglodytes more room in their feeble minds to concentrate on things like texting & Snookie.
- I miss our D&D group, and I know Cassandra does too.
- There was a new Avengers last Sunday, “The Man Who Stole Tomorrow”. Finally after what felt like an eternity, pun intended, we get our first Kang centric story. First off let me say, I LOVE what they’ve done to Kang to fit him into the cartoon continuity. Kang’s a tough villain to pull off, but they’ve done it brilliantly. OH and by the way we get a great Fantastic Four moment! I’m also really excited to see that this week is ANOTHER Kang episode following up on his vow to not only destroy Captain America & defeat the Avengers, but to also conquer that time period in order to ‘save’ it. Oh, and what is he saving it from? Well a future Kree/Skrull War! That’s right foreshadowing! On another cartoon note Young Justice has started on Cartoon Network, it’s just to bad their taking the one hour premiere from last month and using it as the first two episodes. So last week and this week their just playing something I’ve already seen. Thanks for being douches and making me wait even longer Cartoon Network. You’ve got gold in your hands, but you’re to dumb to do anything with it.
- Anthony ain’t heavy, he’s my brother…

And with that I’m out…

“She keeps Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
'Let them eat cake' she says
Just like Mary Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatin
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?

To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minah
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined

Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise

Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild
She's all out to get you

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try”

* = There ya' go gentlemen...

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