Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Pocahontas vs. Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

* = This is my sister's new mantra...

I thought I’d switch it up today and instead of my usual diatribe of unimportant stuff I’m going to give you…


- My Family, both those that I’m blood related to as well as those I married into. This year has been really bad, but in some ways it’s been really good. I’ve reconnected with my mother and sister. In fact even though we really don’t talk all that much it’s been outstanding to get to know my mom again. She’s a cool lady and WAY funnier than I recall. As for my sister what can I say? She is who she is. And apparently Dave loves her for it. Sean and I continue to try and figue out what it means to be brothers. I do lament the fact that I don’t get to see his son grow up and that I don’t know his beautiful wife Kelci the way I should, but it doesn’t change how proud I am of the man my brother has become. This brings me to my Grandma. Or my third mom, however you want to look at her. She’s an amazing woman, I miss her, and I love her. On the other end of the spectrum I have Cassandra’s family. It’s completely mind-blowing and bizarre to have a group of people take you in and put up with all of your shit without judgment or the batting of an eye. Debbie & Dave, no not that Dave, are my mom and dad. It’s weird to say that, but it’s true. I just hope everyday they know that and know that I appreciate them and love ‘em. As for my siblings-in-law, even though I wouldn’t call myself overly close with Char or La-La they are great women and I’m lucky to have them as sisters. I’m still getting a feel for my new brother-in-law Lee, but what I do know of him is that he’s a solid dude. I have the cutest and most incredible niece & nephew. Which brings me to the real star of this particular tale, Ant. No matter what happens you(s) and me(s) are brothers and I will never be able to repay or express adequately how much that means to me. Thanks Bro-Lo El Cunado. And last but not least, I miss you Dad.

- Both of my D&D Groups. Although there is some slight consternation about the ‘Old School’ group right now as far as tone and direction, overall I have to say it’s insanely gratifying and just blissful to be able to play D&D on an almost monthly schedule. So thank you Cassandra, Ant, Zack, Hides, Bob, ‘Mighty’ Mike, Dark Dave, Work Joe, Char, & Gina. Without you guys my Saturdays would be a lot less eventful.

- Ninjadorg and the folks on Board Game Geek dot com. Those individuals who have added SO much extra material for the D&D Adventure System games have really got my thanks and admiration. Once I get a better handle on Photoshop I hope to contribute more. Special thanks though should go to Ninjadorg who also gave the world Fantasy Quest. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this game, and how eager I am for my copy to FINALLY arrive.

- So speaking of games I’d be remiss if I didn’t also say thanks to the Marvel SAGA group in all it’s myriad of members; Work Joe, Boote(!), Dark Dave, ‘Mighty’ Mike, Pillsbury, Woody, & J.B. Though we play significantly less often and things haven’t always gone the smoothest, it’s still a damn fine time and lets me stretch my creative muscles a different way.

- Matt Fraction’s revamping of the Iron Man villains. I’ve been sort of down on Fraction as I really thought Fear Itself was bad, and his Thor run has just been a’right. That being said his Iron Man stuff is out of this F’N world. He’s taken the core of Tony Stark given it back it’s heart and now he’s in the process of re-tooling one of the most interesting rogues galleries in comics. While we’re on comics I like the DCnU, I LOVE IDW’s Dungeons & Dragons comic, and Hellboy continues to be ‘special’.

- To the ‘Good Times’. Whether it be Buzz Trivia Challenge(s), Hockey Night In The Basement, Movie-A-Thons, Driveway Burger Wars, Vikings Games, BINGO, Dave Game Days, Halloween Parties, etc. they all make the ‘blah’ times & the ‘sux’ times that much more bearable. This year I hope to be able to keep those traditions alive.

- My Peeps. Dark Dave, Ant, Jon B., Work Joe, ‘Mighty’ Mike, Emily, Hides, Liz, ‘Dangerous’ Dan, Steph, Char, Billy-Boy, Duke, Steve, Terry, Boote(!), Dewey, Dr. Matt, Ryan S., The Fall-baby, Pita, Larry S., Rolson, ‘Grace’, THE Erin S., Cason, Joey, Melissa, Justy Timbo, Rims, Leviticus, Josh & Matt M., Mary, Christina (& little Mace), and anyone else I might I have missed Thank You. I am not easy to deal with, at the best of times; at the worst of times I’m a bear. Each and every one of you has contributed to my joy and sanity this year. The fact that I’m lucky enough to have not driven you away or made you mad enough to burn down my house is a miracle. They say a man can be judged upon the company he keeps in that case I’m the luckiest S.O.B. alive.

- The Fairly Secret Army. There is a lot of music out there. Most of it is un-fucking-bearably bad. The fact that Dave & Gregg are able to come up with catchy, fun, and musically fantastic music out of Dave’s basement is amazing. I’m really lucky to get to hear a lot of this stuff during its formation, during it’s revision, and then as it’s finalized. I have an incredible amount of respect now for the process and the work that’s put into that creativity. It’s only exponentially increased due to the fact that the music is OUTSTANDING! So thank you Dave & Gregg for mercilessly rocking my brain.

- Speaking of artistic folks. Heidi, Steve Gilpin, and Pat J. also get HUGE props for letting an artistically challenged schlub like myself get a chance to see your work in all it’s myriad of forms. The fact that all of you can produce greatness from nothing is awe-inspiring.

- The Guilded Age. Hey are you not reading this? Then you should get punched in your lying mouth. This web comic is outstanding. It’s funny, at times heart warming, sometimes bizarrely creepy, and about halfway through became something unexpected. It’s the highlight of the Mon., Wed., & Fri. On a side note Elspeth is pretty damn great as well.

- The beauty and the splendor that is Terra-Clips. Oh I waited like a whole year for this ‘game changer’ and it has not disappointed. It’s fun to just put the damn things together let alone to play a game on them. If you game then you should invest in these bad boys as soon as your checkbook allows you.

- Half Priced Books. Holy crap do you guys get a nice chunk of change from me, and I’m ok with that because where else can I get bad fantasy novels for $1? NOWHERE, that’s where! Oh and before I forget thank you Work Joe for dragging me kicking and screaming into the future by convincing me to get an e-Reader. I do dig it and it makes D&D stuff easy to haul around. I love reading.

- To the only shows worth watching on television. Things like Big Bang Theory, Southpark, Parks & Rec., It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The Avengers Earth’s Mightest Heroes, Community, Young Justice, Bored To Death, The Venture Brothers, The League, Batman: Brave & The Bold, The Daily Show, Archer, Post Mortem, 30 Rock, The Walking Dead, Game Of Thrones, & Doctor Who all are worth my time, so they are DEFINETELY worth your time. Not to mention it gives me an excuse to snuggle on the couch with my gorgeous wife. If you aren’t giving these things your time then you are missing out.

- Last, but certainly not least is Cassandra. What to say about the fuel that gets you going every single moment of your life? All I can say is I love you and you are the best thing on the face of this or any other world.

See I can do positive, sappy even.


- You didn’t think I’d just end there did you?
- For a while there I was thinking, “man if it’s the lesser of ALL evils maybe Mitt Romney isn’t that bad”, well I’m a F’N idiot. Dude is a horrible liar, and is doing every thing in his power to lie, cheat, and steal his way into the White House. Why Republicans can you NOT give me some viable alternative, WHY? Watching this group of fakes, liars, and morons debate is like watching an old episode of Jackass. Sure you laugh a bit at the car wreck, but after awhile you realize how sad the whole thing really is. Jesus ‘Merica, give me some F’N real options. By the by, the idea that you can go to JAIL for stealing food stamps to feed your family and that if you steal from the Federal Government you get a ‘Golden Parachute’ severance package is enough to make me want to punch babies.
- I’m hoping to get a bit of board gamin’ in the next two days with Ant. Here’s to hope.
- Last night ‘Steve McQueen’ needed more work done, and it cost a pretty penny. Nothing like going further in debt to ensure you have transportation. I understand its just part of life, but damn if it’s not an irritating part.
- I’m grillin’ tonight. It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I’m going to grill, OUTSTANDING!

You know I thought there might be more to spew, but I think I’m done today. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

“The Sesair dogs of Tir-nan-og have stalked me to enslave
And rampant in the hybrid hills amidst the cattle raid
The Ulstermen will kneel before the heathen path I've paved
And bards of mighty Conchobar will offer me to Maeve

Through Sourlands in bloody bands across the north they go
Brave Conner Mac his tribes are painted blue from head to toe
But all alone the Infidel did match them blow for blow
His body bent and hair in spikes came flailing to and fro

The carnage lingered on, his body split from side to side
The tendons tore his mighty chest and ripped his leathered hide
Across his back ten Ulstermen were carried from the lake
And soon there were ten sundered heads each thrust upon a stake

The battle-rage had gripped him as he squirmed inside his skin
One eye had popped out of his head the other sucked back in
Soon pieces of Brave Conner Mac and friends adorned the ground
It took three tubs of ice to cool his burning body down

Setanta of the Sesair was the chosen king by birth
The power he possesses is a gift from mother earth
Through chronicles of time he'll rise again and spread his fame
And future incarnations will arise to bear his name

The Sourlands are bitter and the northern tribes are free
In Tir-nan-og a new abandoned kingdom waits for me
The message of the fallen king is swift across the land
To Ulster where a widowed Queen prepares to take my hand”

* = ARNIE!

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