Thursday, January 21, 2010

Suspicion Vs. Suspiria

I find it fascinating that people will hunt down, “stumble upon”, or even pay the slightest bit of attention to my blog. So that being said this message goes out to people who lurk; Go away. You are not named; you have no power or voice in my life or the life of my friends & family, be he or she here, Superior, Duluth, Iola, or anywhere else any longer. I don’t read your e-mail responses, I see them and designate them SPAM. I have gleefully moved on with life, any mention is simply done in perspective not in any real or perceived malice. Go forth into the world with happiness in your soul and good will in your heart. But mainly just go forth, I have…

So apparently there was some people who didn’t understand yesterday’s stream of consciousness. First off let me state, that let’s not bash others here, that’s MY job, if I feel anyone deserves bashing I’ll be the one to do it, good? Yes, I thought so. Secondly, there wasn’t some cry for help in that, it simply was, and as all things I write self-examination, and no David not that type of “self-examination”. Who am I? Where am I going? Am I who I thought I was or even whom I thought I was going to be? The answers change moment to moment. I am not who I thought I was going to be, I’m not who I was even seven years ago. People change, they grow, they evolve, and in some cases devolve. I don’t think I could ever conceive of being who I thought I would be or even could have been. I just simply am, and that is fantastic. As for where I’m going maybe I’ll let you know when I get there, but for now, for today I’m just going to continue to enjoy the journey.

I’ve learned, and yes its taken failure time and time again for me to absorb this information, that I don’t need a nemesis or some “shinning city on the hill” as some motivation. I can just enjoy life. The motivation of life isn’t to right, or write in some cases apparently, some wrong or to aspire to the unattainable, but instead to appreciate the here and now. The mundane beauty of the morning as you wheel the garbage out to the curb, the way you and your Board Gaming Crew get “Gaming Drunk” and can’t stop laughing at quoted lines from The League, or the simple dimples in a smile of someone you love. ALL of this in itself is enjoyment, is life, and should be treated as a gift. I think every moment above ground has GOT to be a good one.

Look at that sentiment; some would call it “trite” explanation. I didn’t write it for you, for any of you. I wrote it for me; to remind myself, to center myself, to gather direction from the ether and go forth with focus and purpose. So the next time anyone, regular reader OR lurker feels the need to impose their emotion, past relationship, or any other such personal thing on it, ask yourself this; would you like me to take a piece of you and impose myself on it? I think not. If you don’t like it simply don’t read it. If your looking for hidden meaning, I’d rather you just ask.

There is a reason I just put “Citizen’s musings” on this, I do because I want this to be semi-faceless. Otherwise I’d broadcast to the multiverse who I am, instead I’m hoping that by assessing myself it inspires others to do the same. Oh and I like writing about nerdy crap I’ve read, watched, listened to, eaten, and other self indulgent tripe to those that are in the “know”.

And I’m spent….


- I’m officially an old person now; I went to bed last night at 8:30pm. Pretty soon I’ll be hitting the O.C.B. before 4:30 pm.
- Who dat say gonna beat dem Saints? Well I think the Vikings will on Sunday night; Vikes 31 Saints 20. On the AFC side I’m going with my gut; Colts 17 Jets 13. This would set up a game between quiet possibly two of the greatest QBs of all time, who each with one more ring could easily lay claim to being THE best of all time. That is what I want to see.
- I really need to glue some minis tonight. Seriously.
- Waves of Mercury continues to be dominant in my car’s CD player. DOMINATES!
- Can you believe January is almost over? Neither can I…
- D&D on Saturday, I’m looking forward to one last game with 2D terrain, as I think from here on out, since I won’t be using the pre-generated Scales Of War campaign I won’t be married to only 2D dungeon tiles, but instead I’ll be able to use all the Mordheim, World Works, and other assorted cardstock things that we, and by we I mean M.i.L., Char., Cassandra, & myself, have built. It should add some real flair to the table. Oh and hopefully it’ll make Dave stop bitchin’.
- I’m thinking of picking up some tiny meatballs for this weekend, and allowing them go buck wild in the crock pot, maybe make up some marinara, get some cheese, and some hot dog buns, for poor man’s meatball subs. Maybe for D&D and for the games on Sunday. It’s just a thought I have…
- If the weather on the commute is any indication then the commute home is going to be like driving a zamboni home.
- There isn’t anything much better on t.v. right now than Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations, BELIEVE IT!

Off I go…

“The deafening silence…”

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