Somedays you just don’t have much to talk about. I mean we’re knee deep in the Sport’s Abyss, I can’t discuss my future D&D plans to much since I know some of the people who actually read this drivel are in my monthly group and I look forward to surprising them, I haven’t read comics in TWO MONTHS so I don’t have a lot to rant about, and things going on the real world have exhausted my rage to this point this particular week. SO I decided to take a chance and try to quantify one of those things in my life that has always been more of a mysterious badge of courage, that’s right GEEK CRED! I’ve decided to throw together a test, that will without fail and using only the most up to date purely scientific data collection & correlation methods determine just where YOU the intrepid readers of this said blog land in the world of GEEK CRED. Understand this is on the honor system, if you want to be a party pooper then go ahead and Google or Wiki answers, but remember I didn’t need to do that to come up with the questions, so you shouldn’t need it to answer them, unless your just F’N Clown Shoes. SO, without further ado I give unto you;
THE GEEK CRED TEST!
1) Hal Jordan is ___________?
a. The Greatest Of ALL Green Lanterns
b. The only Green Lantern From Earth
c. Guardian Of Sector 2817
d. Also known as Parallax
e. None Of The Above
2) Bruce Wayne has a son named Damien.
3) Peter Parker was married to whom?
c. Gwen Stacy
d. Mary Jane Watson
e. Betty Brant
f. Felecia Hardy
3) Who is the best captain in the history of Star Trek? (Remember to show your work)
a. Cpt. Janeway
b. Cpt. Picard
c. Cpt. Kirk
d. Cpt. Sulu
e. Cpt. Pike
4) The Hulk is _______________?
a. The strongest there is
b. A fan of purple pants
c. A father
d. Into smashing things
e. All of the above
5) What is the best George Romero ‘Dead’ film? (Remember to show your work)
a. Night Of The Living Dead
b. Day Of The Dead
c. Dawn Of The Dead
d. Land Of The Dead
e. Diary Of The Dead
6) If the following 80’s Action Movie stars are alone on a deserted island and forced to kill and eat one another to survive, WHO is the sole survivor;
a. Dolph Lundgren
b. Jean Claude Van Damme
c. Jeff Speakman
d. Steven Seagal
e. Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson
7) Erin Gray, circa the 1980’s Buck Rogers T.V. Show, sorta hot OR INSANELY hot? (Remember to show your work)
a. Sorta Hot
b. INSANELY Hot
8) LEGO Batman Vs. LEGO Darth Vader, who wins & why? (Remember to show your work)
9) You, a 3rd level fighter, and your party, consisting of the following 3rd level characters; an assassin, an invoker, & a warlord enter into an encounter with the fabled Tarasque, WHO dies first & why? (Remember to show your work)
10) Who is the best Doctor Who?
a. Christopher Eccleston
b. Jon Pertwee
c. David Tennant
d. Tom Baker
e. Peter Davison
11) What does every Number 2 from The Village want from Number 6?
a. His life
b. His wife
d. The name of his superior
e. His car
12) Who are the two brothers from the Dragonlance series of novels?
a. Frodo & Bilbo Baggins
b. Drizzt Do’urdon & Wulfgar
c. Fahfred & The Grey Mouser
d. Caramon & Raistlin Majere
e. Jaraxle Baenre & Artemis Entreri
13) Sterling Archer, aka ‘Duchess’, works for what spy agency?
14) You are trapped on the Venture Compound and being hunted by the minions of the Mighty Monarch, and you’ve peed yourself, WHO are you?
a. Hank Venture
b. Jonas Venture Jr.
c. Brock Sampson
d. Dean Venture
e. T.S. Venture
15) Everyone knows who Bobba Fett is; name three of the other bounty hunters from the classic scene in The Empire Strikes Back? (Remember to show your work)
16) Who is the Crime Syndicate Of Amerika?
a. Clones of the Teen Titans made by the Nazis
b. Enemies of the JSA
c. The Justice League’s counterparts from Earth 2
d. DC comic’s version of Marvel’s Avengers
e. None of the above
17) Ed Brubaker’s run on Captain America, best run on the book ever OR best run on any Marvel book ever? (Remember to show your work)
18) What is hiding beneath Chuck Norris’s beard?
a. A map of the multiverse
b. Another fist
c. Roundhouse kick
d. The secrets to eternal enlightenment
e. All of the above
19) Ninjas Vs. Pirates, Who you got?
20) In the original draft of Star Wars, Luke Skywalker was known as Luke Starkiller?
21) What is Hellboy’s favorite food?
b. Fried Chicken
22) Who has NOT been a member of the Guardians Of The Galaxy?
a. The Thing
b. Charlie 27
c. Major Victory
d. Star Lord
e. Rocket Raccoon
23) Everyone knows that Superman is the Last Son Of Krypton, but what is the name of the bottled city from Krypton that Braniac shrunk and ripped from the planet prior to it’s destruction?
b. Star City
24) Who is the better fat bearded side kick; John Rhys-Davies’ Sallah from Raiders Of The Lost Ark OR Brian Blessed’s Prince Voltan from 1980’s Flash Gordon? (Remember to show your work)
a. John Rhys-Davies’ Sallah
b. Brian Blessed’s Prince Voltan
25) What is the best John Carpenter flick? (Remember to show your work)
26) Count Strahd Von Zarovich hails from which D&D campaign setting?
a. Dark Sun
d. Forgotten Realms
27) Which of the following statements is FACT?
a. The Golden Age Hawkman was a cop from the planet Thanagar
b. The Silver Age Hawkman & Hawkwoman where simultaneously chairman & chairwoman of both the JSA & JLA
c. Hawkman doesn’t have an elaborate rogues gallery because he kills or maims his enemies, oh and because he OWNS!
d. Hawkman’s main weapon is the Cloak Of Cagliostro
e. Hawkwoman married John Stewart, GL of Earth
28) Which is better, the original book trilogy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings OR Peter Jackson’s adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings trilogy? (Remember to show your work)
29) Aquaman, incredibly lame OR incredibly underrated? (Remember to show your work)
a. Incredibly Lame
b. Incredibly Underrated
30) Grant Morrison was the co-writer of the seminal comic Watchmen?
31) Robert E. Howard created which seminal character?
b. Doc Savage
c. Solomon Kane
d. Titus Crow
e. Harry Dresden
32) Mark Millar, overrated windbag OR talentless hack? (Remember to show your work)
a. Overrated Windbag
b. Talentless Hack
33) You and the crew of your lifeboat crash into an uncharted island in the Pacific. It’s full of Euclidian angled architecture, slime, and ancient ruins. As you explore its baleful shores you are confronted with the massive maw of tentacles of Cthulhu, what do you do?
a. Go crazy & die
b. Go crazy, kill your fellow crewmates, & die
c. Become lunch for The Great Old One
d. Fall to your knees in worship
e. Go crazy, kill your fellow crewmates, go back to civilization and spread the word of your new God
34) Henri-Laurent de Marigny is the side kick of what character?
a. Sherlock Holmes
b. Titus Crow
c. Harry Dresden
d. Doc Savage
e. The Shadow
35) Which of the following characters is NOT a spy?
a. Nick Fury
b. Nemesis, aka Tom Tresser
c. Rick Flag
d. Sterling Archer
e. Brock Samson
36) Brock Samson once killed a guy with a wig and a live shark.
37) Who wrote the following; “That which is not dead can eternal lie, And with stranger eons even death my die”
a. Clark Ashton Smith
b. H.P. Lovecraft
c. Robert E. Howard
d. Brian Lumley
e. August Derleth
38) The original Sinister Six consisted of which six members?
a. Speed Demon, Hydro-Man, The Beetle, Boomerrang, The Shocker, & The Rhino
b. Ultraman, Superwoman, Owl Man, Johnny Quick, Power Ring, & Tars Tarkas
c. Doctor Octopus, Sandman, Kraven The Hunter, The Vulture, Electro, & Mysterio
d. Lex Luthor, Black Adam, Deathstroke, Talia Al Ghul, The Calculator, & Dr. Psycho
e. Joe Quasada, Tom Breevort, Steve Wacker, Brian Micheal Bendis, Mark Millar, & Jeph Loeb
39) Rank these creators in descending order of AWE-some. (Remember to show your work)
- Geoff Johns
- Steve Ditko
- Ed Brubaker
- Jack Kirby
- Grant Morrison
- Alan Moore
40) Which race was Doctor Who’s main enemy during the fabled Time War?
a. The Daleks
b. The Master
d. The Cybermen
e. The Sontarans
41) You are a man capable of great mirth and terrible melancholies, a future king, a blue eyed warrior, who moves like a panther, but most of all is an uncivilized barbarian, WHO are you?
a. King Kull
b. Bran Mak Morn
c. Ator the Fighting Eagle
42) Who piloted the shuttle that gave the Fantastic Four their fantastic powers?
a. Reed Richards
b. Benjamin Grim
c. Victor Von Doom
d. Johnny Storm
e. Sue Storm
43) Captain America once lifted and used the Hammer of Thor, Mjolnir.
44) Max Brook’s novel World War Z: An Oral History Of The Zombie War is; the greatest zombie book ever written OR one of the greatest books ever written? (Remember to show your work)
a. The Greatest Zombie Book Ever Written
b. One Of The Greatest Books Ever Written
45) You are playing Advanced Dungeons & Dragons just what the hell does THAC0 mean?
a. Total Hits Accumulated In Round 0
b. Trolls, Hags, Aboleth, Choker, 0 Rounds
c. To Hit Armor Class 0
d. The Hits Accumulated Criticals 0
e. I have NO earthly idea, and neither does anyone with a life
46) What were the members of the JLA during the much-maligned “Detroit League” era?
a. Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Green Lantern, Flash, Martian Manhunter, & Aquaman
b. Elasti-girl, Negative Man, The Chief, Mento, Robot Man, & Beast Boy
c. Uncle Sam, The Human Bomb, Phantom Lady, Black Condor, & The Ray
d. Aquaman, Vibe, Steel II, Vixen, Gypsy, & Martian Manhunter
e. Hawkman, Mr. Terrific, The Flash, Green Lantern, Doctor Fate, Sandman, Dr. Midnight, & Wildcat
47) Who is the writer of the Image comic The Walking Dead?
a. Paul Dini
b. Todd McFarlane
c. Robert Kirkman
d. Dan Slott
e. Sterling Gates
48) Who is the LAW?
a. Iron Man
b. Jonah Hex
c. Abe Sapien
d. Red Sonja
e. Judge Dredd
49) Mike Mignola’s art is; so good it makes you wanna slap yo momma OR so good it melts your brain? (Remember to show your work)
a. So Good It Makes You Wanna Slap Yo Momma
b. So Good It Melts Your Brain
50) Fin Fang Foom wears purple underwear.
51) You’ve finished this hastily thrown together, BUT incredibly scientific and accurate GEEK CRED test, where do think you rank?
a. I’m as geeky as Ben (90% or above)
b. You know, Ben’s a geek, but I’m definitely in the race (89% to 80%)
c. RESPEK(s)! (79% to 70%)
d. Is it sad that I know some of this stuff? (69% to 60%)
e. It’s like your speaking a different language… (Below 59%)
So there you have it, THIS is what happens when I’ve got nothing really going on and people don’t show up to work. Oh well I’m interested in seeing how people score, until then at least we’ll always have
- Nice change on the Overtime rules NFL, I likey!
- Last night Dave and I avenged our two loses to Jeff & Steve by handing them a rousing defeat in Merlin. With Stevula gone doing whatever it is Steve does the next two weeks we’re giving Merlin a rest. It’ll be fun to play some new stuff
- Having Psoriasis sucks donkey balls, sweaty ones.
- I’m sad inside that Mary & Christina are going to be out of D&D for a while, but I have an idea of how to fill that time for their characters. Oh and I’m really hoping to suck in a couple of new players, I think it might help spice up the group.
- Jett’s Pizza OWNS!
- I’m re-listening to Waves Of Mercury “The Great Darkness”, and I had forgotten just how beautiful an album it really is, KUDOS to you David.
- Once the new ‘puter is back up I’ve GOT to get on getting Cave Works done. It is a MUST for both where D&D is headed as well as my plans for May’s GAMING WEEKEND.
- The Richardson Writing Circle story continues to go into new, strange, and horribly vivid territory. I’m extremely intrigued to see how this story will end. When it does, and if it’s cool with the other members, I’ll post it.
- I can’t wait to grill again…
AGRH! Well I suppose I should get back at it.
“Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice…Fool me…can’t get fooled again…”