Monday, August 2, 2010
The Howling Vs. Wolfen
* I'm attempting to chanel some Batman today...
I was going to write today about the weekend. About the madness that was Friday night’s BINGO! A tale of Lucha Libre masks, High School Musical LED clocks, DVD’s about fly-fishing, Rum, and all the yuks and music you could shake a stick at. I was then going to venture into the Dark Dave 3rd Annual Game Day, and how Chaos In The Old World (**** out of 5) finally got played. How I inevitably sucked at it. Oh and how after years of never seeing the light of day we played Werewolves of Miller’s Hollow (******** out of 5) and it stole the day.
I was going to talk about these things, all of these joyous things.
That was up until about 15 minutes ago. See we have had some involuntary terminations here at work of late, some very dark deeds done, and for me personally some personality conflicts that have left me frustrated at best. About 15 minutes ago I was asked if I could “chat” this afternoon with one of the high ups. I’m not sure how to take this. First off, of course I can ‘chat’. I could ‘chat’ right now in fact. Secondly, I’m not sure how excited I am to be called in and asked to ‘chat’ based upon the direction of things recently. I’m not sure if I’m about to be sacked, and worse than that I’m not sure I’d be sad about it if I was to get sacked. In the last month I’ve bee openly called incompetent via e-mail by colleagues, who then had to eat their words, I’ve had my professionalism questioned by the poster child for unprofessionalism and in the most junior high manner, and had this sort of slow erosion of trust in the overall leadership and direction.
I’m not saying I’m ready to leave. I’m not. For as much as I’m irritated, frustrated, and maybe a little burned out ramming my head into the same barriers over and over and over again, I do like it here. I just don’t like the people. Scratch that, it’s not that I don’t like THEM, I just don’t like people in general. I find a lot of the politicking that goes on to make me like the general populace even less.
Not to mention there is just this bizarre air of unpredictability buzzing around. I have no idea what to expect from anyone. Money makes even the best people do things that are beneath them. With the way the government is squeezing blood from the proverbial stone it’s sort of turned into a Darwinist’s ideal model. People are afraid they won’t have a job, and that doesn’t result in anything productive for anyone. I’m usually quiet confident, but when these ‘things’, these ‘chats’, get sprung on me I immediately go into defensive posture, and begin readying myself to go on the offensive.
It doesn’t help that I’m in a miserable mood. I’m tired, I don’t feel well, haven’t slept well, and really dislike the word ‘chat’. Who knows, maybe this is nothing, but I doubt it. I will say that the longer I have to wait the more amped I’m liable to be, and that does not bode well for the other people in the room…