Thursday, September 30, 2010
Rocketship X-M Vs. Giants Of Marathon
* = Remember Labron died for you si...WAIT A SECOND!
I’ve been crazy busy lately. Bentoberfest is tomorrow so there’s been some running around and there’s bound to be even more as we prep. This is the time of the year where things just keep speeding headlong towards January 1st. Between Halloween parties, birthdays, holidays, and D&D we are going to be on the move for the next three months straight. All that being said, I love the fall. The change in weather, the rain, and all the other hectic things I’ve previously listed. This time of year has the residual effect on me, which makes my mind long for football, that need that is now met only with television, and my body reminds me of every old defeat and triumph. This is the bittersweet season.
Enough about pouty and paltry longings for youth! Instead I’d like to bring back a little weekly thing I used to do on the old blog, TOP 5’s! SO, at the request of Joe K., today it’s
TOP 5 FOOL’S WHO NEED “PITYIN’”!
5) Career Politicians – I wanted to point the finger, and then aim the slap at people like John Boehner, but then I realized Nancy Pelosi and her ilk are no better. As anyone who reads this drivel on a semi-regular basis you know I’m more of a financial conservative and a social liberal, what I’m beginning to realize is NO ONE currently in office represents me OR my interests. They only care about the next re-election, the next paycheck from a lobbyist, the next ‘grift’. The entire system is beyond corrupt, now the alternative of having someone as crazy as Rand Paul or Christine O’Donnell frightens me even further. There is not an option and that makes me want to cut my hair into a Mohawk, get a TON of gold chains, put on some spandex & a weight belt, and scream at these folks to “…stop the jibber jabbin’”!
4) Ryan Dancey & his “D&D is in a death spiral” comment – The internets were broken this week, at least in my geeky world, when Ryan Dancey again, he did so before on Mike Mearls Livejournal blog in 2005, stated that D&D is in a death spiral. When will we as nerds learn, we are in a niche hobby, no matter what mainstream media, you like that term Fox News watchers, tell us. We are playing a game or series of games that don’t and will not gain huge acceptance, acclaim, or positive notoriety. BUT what we do have is rabid fandom, dedication, imagination, intelligence, and a desire to see this thing we love continue. Dancey unfortunately comes off like a bitter sourpuss, who is a former WotC employee, whose been shouting “FIRE” in a crowded theatre since 2005 regarding the industry he likes to espouse that he loves and works in. It doesn’t make sense.
3) Chris Carter – Why is it that on NFL Live on ESPN they feel the need to have a loud, obnoxious, former wide receiver act like an idiot. It used to be the torch held by Michael Irvin, who at least had some redeeming qualities, NOW I have to shun the four-letter network because I find Chris Carter to be unpalatable. He’s a bandwagon jumper, judgmental, he has less ‘likability’ than Merril Hoge, which is saying something, and he comes off like he doesn’t really understand anything football related outside of his former position. Place him beside Tom Jackson and he sounds like a buffoon, hell even next to the polarizing Keyshawn Johnson Carter comes off like an idiot. Thanks for ruining Sunday Morning Countdown for me Chris.
2) Silver Age Lucy Lane – Yes, I know she’s a fictional character, but as the brilliant Chris Sims has repeatedly pointed out, Lucy Lane is a hateful shrew. In fact go forth and read this new Sims’ article regarding the focus of her hateful shrewness, Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about;
1) The Cast Of The Jersey Shore – I don’t know who these people are, or why they are “famous”, what I DO know is they should be systematically destroyed and then their existence should be wiped from our collective memory. This, along with crap like sexting & the popularity of Justin Bieber, are perfect examples of the decline of western civilization.
As a bonus, I started to put the following in on the list, BUT then in mid-conversation I was informed that I didn’t understand racism. Which is most likely true. However I do understand classism, so beyond anything else the following is more about a rich douche covering for his obnoxious behavior rather than my ability to “walk a mile in the shoes” of a young African American man.
- Labron James – Racism? Really? You’re going to go with Racism? I’m not an NBA guy; I think it’s just bad basketball, not to mention it lacks the passion of the college game. Even though I feel that way I still could not help but be utterly and thoroughly amazed by ‘King’ James. It was like watching an NFL defensive end glide around the court. He seemed humble, a genuine kid, and a great team guy. That was until his ill conceived “The Decision”. See ‘King’, and I feel I can call you ‘King’ because we used have a good vibe, you can’t act like an ass hat on T.V., rub your money and fame in the face of poor people, while shrugging off your media constructed humble persona like a dirty coat and not expect backlash. Oh and I don’t think you being worried or upset by your “Q Rating” has much to do with racism, I think it has more to do with you being worried about money, OR not understanding or caring about the fans. All that being said the NBA needed another ‘villain’ besides Kobe, and while Labron may have acted like a HUGE douche throughout this process at least he didn’t rape anyone. Allegedly.
- I’m a third of the way through The Vampire Wars and it’s been darn entertaining. I’m not sure I’m following the ‘jumpy’ narrative style entirely, but I’m enjoying the tone even though it is ‘Warhammer-ey” to the extreme.
- So I got this e-mail the other day from a website that sells like furniture and kitchen goods asking me if I'd do a review &/or a give-away on my blog for thier goods. I was sort of shocked, thought it might be "spam", but responded. Anywho, longish story short it wasn't spam. Someone out there thinks that my blog is inline with what thier costumers like. I don't know if it's because I constantly mention food, 'cause let's face it my blog is loaded with me talking about wanting to eat, or if it's my overwhelming hatred of Labron James, but whatever it is I think I'm going to do it. So what do the three of you who actually read this drivel think?
- Cassandra and I made Chicken Chowder this last weekend and I really thought that not much would be able to touch it’s awesomeness, but then she busted out this Italian meatloaf-with-pasta inside on top of ciabatta bread thing last night and my heart, stomach, and soul melted into a puddle of joy. I can’t wait to consumer more of it for lunch.
- I still hunger for Al Bakers, SO I’m just going to throw this out to the folks who do read this; WHOSE COMIN’ WITH ME?
You know that’s really all I have…
“Welcome friend. You know, a lot of people say: Garth Marenghi? Isn’t he the guy who writes all that horror crap? Well, good luck to you, you’re an idiot. Because my books always say something, even if it’s just something simple like: don’t genetically engineer crabs to be as big as men, there’s always a message or a theme. When I wrote, directed and starred in Garth Marenghi's Darkplace back in the 1980s, I gave every episode a theme, even when we were running out of time or I was really tired.”
* = A S-P-O-O-K-Y version of where does this take your imagination...