So it's been an interesting week or so. I won't go into detail, but I've learned some pretty nasty lessons. So rather than wait till Friday let's do an early evening
TOP TEN THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN 2011!
10) Don't Over-Plan - It never goes the way you think or the way you want. It just doesn't. Everyone has different world views, you can't think that yours is the only one, or the Alpha nor the Omega. I'm a planner, an over-planner and now I need to rectify it. I'm going to go with the flow a bit more, not drive myself so nuts with trying to have things go the way I want or the way I think they should.
9) People Come & People Go - You can never go back & ask for more time, another chance, a second take, and I've found in many cases a second chance. It's not healthy or smart to over-invest in others. Distance is healthy. At this age do we really need "best friends" besides our spouses anymore anyway? Ok, we sort of do, but maybe it's a good idea to see if the long and winding road can be a Solo Adventure.
8) It's Not Junior High & Violence Will Not Solve Your Problems - Will it make you feel better? It might, but it's really not healthy, and the reality is it's not worth it. It doesn't prove anything I don't already know. Taking a tact that goes against your very instincts is really hard, no REALLY hard, but it'll payoff in the long run.
7) Never Trust A Big Butt & A Smile - It's Poison.
6) Say What You Have To Say Before It's To Late - Whether it's that last "I love you...", "I miss you...", or just "I'm sorry..." say it, because sometimes it becomes to late, and when it is those words will just hang there like a shadow. Words are important, even the one's we say for self-gratification. The reality is I never got a chance to tell my dad how much I appreciated him, just like I won't get the chance to really apologize to Dave. Different circumstances, same ending.
5) Death Is Tough - We're a little over a month out and it's still aching. I don't know if it'll ever stop. Sometimes I forget just how much I relied on him, for guidance, for a laugh, for a story, just for something unconditional. It's strange for that to be gone. I keep thinking in "What If's" and "Shoulda's", it's proven difficult to get beyond that.
4) We Need To Kick Operation "Baby Fever" Into Overdrive - I'll leave the details up to the imagination. What I'm really talking about is doing some reading and getting serious about 'Serious Bidnizz'. Seeing M.C.M. the other night just served to remind me that I'd really like to be a parent. I think I might even be good at it.
3) Shoveling Sucks - Seriously, can it stop snowing. I don't mind the mild workout, but I'm really sick of being cold. It doesn't help that we've become sort of OCD about our driveway.
2) It's All About Context - Anything and everything can be done in the proper context with the proper exchange of information. The other side of the coin becomes when you put the barbs and slings of others in certain contexts it really ceases to be what it was. The interwebs leaves a lot of things open to interpretation, sometimes correct, sometimes incorrect. Either way we have to live with the consequences of our actions and our words. I've struggled with this lesson all my life, I like to wear my emotions on my sleeve and occasionally on my keyboard. It's nice to know I'm not alone in at least that.
1) If It Doesn't Kill You, It's Just Going To Sting For A REALLY Long Time, But At Least You'll Live - All things pass, all pains, all regrets, all moments become fleeting. It's a constant reminder that no one 'makes' me do, say, or feel anything. It's my choice. You trip and fall, it's time to dust off, and give it a right proper go again. I don't have to love life, I don't have to like people, I don't need to enjoy my job, I just need to be. There's a beauty in that simplicity.
You know as crazy as things have been, as bad as I've felt, tomorrow will be another day to put those pants on one leg at a time and try to get it right.